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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi,Please help me with the way I'm feeling right now.Since 2002 I have been single. I have loads of guys come over to me to ask me out but most of the time i'm not interested, since I think Im too choosy!I met this guy, and felt like I instantly fell in love with him. We used to spend hours in the car chatting etc etc.He stopped making efforts to come over or call.. and started a night job at a pub so I couldnt see him as often as Id like.We kinda broke up, but then he said that he wanted us to get back together cos we can work on it - so we did.Then I found out his ex was still on the scene - had a long talk and things did change - his ex stopped coming round etc.Towards the end he was making an effort in some respects - trying to keep us together until my mate messaged him (one he didnt know) on a website and he asked if they wanted to see pics of him naked and if they want to meet - and that he was single.We split up over the phone today since he said he couldnt trust me since I was tricking him!I feel so empty!! What can I do? Should i try and get him back? And why did he keep trying to keep us together if that wasnt what he wanted?Thanks xxx
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2006): Thanks for that - a lot of my mates have also said that he was playing games.
Im not defending him, but I think he was out of a long relationship before xmas and I think he wasnt sure what he wanted. Maybe thats why he kept trying - but only making half efforts. For the first half of the relationship, everything was great, and for the second half it was just going further and further down hill...
I took his stuff back on Monday (knowing he would be at work) as I wanted to be sure I didnt have anything of his that could be used against me later. I didn't to see him, so just in case he wasnt working, I text his brother to come and get the stuff off of me. His brother said he was sorry to see me go and that his brother was an idiot.
Obviously there hasnt been any contact (probably for the best?) and although I miss him very much, I don't want to antagonise a situation by texting him with a 'thanks' or a 'i know it's over' as I think we both know where we stand, and it would leave me expecting a reply.
Cheers for your message - appreciate your help!
G x
A
female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (6 May 2006):
 I think you are really better off without this guy but trust is a two way street as he started to get extremely friendly with one of your friends and offered the naked pictures, if that is how I read your comments correctly.
If you want to let him know that you are over him why not send him a text and say that trust is a two way street and I have very good friends who I can trust. Tell him something like a thank you as he has made you realise how life can be much better without him or something along those lines.
This guy was saying he was single before he had broken up with you so don't feel any loyalty towards him as he has broken the trust not you.
I think he was playing games with you and even though you still want him he sounds as though he has already moved on from you so keep yourself busy and start enjoying life with your friends and family and do things for you now.
There is a really decent guy out there who will treat you as you should be treated so it is not the end of the world even though it may feel like it right now. Believe me OK.
Stay strong and positive and when he has finally worked out what he has missed out you will be the happy one with a guy who treats you right and by then he will have missed the boat so to speak.
Take care and be you again.
BFN
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