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female
age
41-50,
*hell42005
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years and we have 2 children together. We have battled through cheating in our relationship. I left him about 6 months ago and met someone new. It killed him. We made our way back together but seem to fight all the time. We are now not together again because he said he is too hurt about what I did. He said the only way we could be together again is if I let him sleep with my friend. Because then I will feel what he felt when I slept with someone else and it will prove my love for him. Please help. I love him so much and want him back so much but how can I do this? Please help Reply to this Question
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reader, Shell42005 +, writes (18 June 2007):
Shell42005 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI just want to thank everyone for there responses. It really has helped me. I know what I need to do its just doing it. When you love someone its very hard to say goodbye.
A
female
reader, Jendorset  +, writes (17 June 2007):
If you let him sleep with you friend he may not stop at once, he may have a full affair behind your back. They may just carry it on. Also, this friend might not even be interested. He sounds like a bit of an ass in general. Dont stand for it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2007): I think this just shows how little respect this guy now has for you. When cheating and such like happens in relationships, it's often hard for things to go back to normal. I'm not saying its impossible, but more than often resentment grows and eventually it turns to disrespect. It is not love that is keeping you together, it is still believing that you both feel the way you did when you were together. Times have moved on, neither of you are the same as you were when you were first together, before things started going wrong. Do you really think he will open you with open arms and that all will be forgiven, once he sleeps with your friend? Of course not. All he is doing is trying to establish control over you - the control he feels he lost when you went with another man. I think you know all this deep down, but your need for him to accept you and love you is clouding your judgement. I don't think you will ever "get him back" - I think things have gone too far for that. The only thing I can think can help you guys is a very good couples counsellor. You should be thinking of this if you both want a relationship for the future.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2007): Ok, that is the dumbest idea I have ever heard of, he is just throwing this thing back in your face and not owning his part in all of this....he cheated on you in the past, you two don't get along that well, he has apparantly never asked you in 7 long years and two babies to marry him and when you two broke up and tried to move on with your life, he was "hurt" because you were intimate with a new man.
I don't think the two of you need to be together and fighting and splitting up and having any more kids....this can't be good for the kids you already have, they need stability and they deserve not to hear the two people responsible for their every survival, fighting in front of them, splitting up and dad disappearing and reappearing...this is having a profoundly negative effect on your kids....you and they deserve better.
If it were me, I would get to a counseler, decide if you are ever going to make this relationship a forever one, give your kids a last name by marrying their father, or split with him once and for all and stop all of this back and forth nonsense...your kids would be better off not having this drama in their lives and they can still see their Dad, just not have him there at home.
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female
reader, myp +, writes (16 June 2007):
 ooooh buddy, bad bad situation. Him sleeping with your friend will solve nothing, its more like throwing a malotov cocktail into a lumberyard. Nothing good could possibly come from him sleeping with your friend. Matter of fact whatever friend he wants to sleep with is obviously not your friend if shes wiling to sleep with him. If you go along with his plan youll completely destroy whatever is left of the relationship you're trying to salvage. You need to come up with some other way to handle the situation. both of you need to talk about your personal issues and i strongly suggest a counsellor.
Good luck, i sincerely hope you guys work it out
-Myesha
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