A
female
age
30-35,
*ola29
writes:my bf has stated that i have an issue with keeping in touch. He mentioned that its hurtful when I don't call for atleast once or during acouple of days to intiate contact by phone. This has been going on since we've started dating and its been almost 2 years. I dont know why i still treat this relationship as if its a new one, and that he should be doing all the work, plus sometimes i get really scared of how serious we both get so i think unconsciously i push him away so he can leave me. He even described the way he felt as a "dog on the loose - no idea what to do except run after you" He wants me to prove that i am truly sorry for this and i have no idea how to prove to him that i really aam and that i do care about him. I dont know how to do this and i dont feel too comfortable with nagging him everyday to prove it, coz thats just not me. I didnt think it was that bad, and could this be the reason why he seems to have doubts bout my behaviour, my social life and basically create insecurities i didnt expect at all?? any advice would be really appreciated. Please hold the scolding, i feel bad enough lol . thank you Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2010): Sometimes in a relationship you just need to wipe the slate clean, forget all the things that are annoying and have dragged on for way too long and just start as if everything is new!...not meaning to "scold" you but it's hard for guys when they have to put almost all the effort into a relationship. Like, if this situation was turned the other way round and you were the one who had 2 keep texting and calling him how would you feel?
It might be a gud idea to sit down with your boyfriend talk it out...maybe mention that the nagging is putting you off and that if he stops nagging, you'll start to make more of an effort, compromise!
Set aside a night, bring over a dvd and popcorn to his, talk it out, let all your feelings out and at the end agree to leave everything ye're annoyed about behind and start afresh!!
better now than never!good luck :)
A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies  +, writes (10 March 2010):
 maybe you're not that intrested in him anymore? it is possible that you've taken him for granted and expect him to do everything.
if thats not the case...well..it's been two years ...you need to show your man some affection. Men want to receive texts from their woman too. I made that mistake with my ex and he told me he wants to know i think of him during the day. Well..just remember...acting too hard to get has bad concequences.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (10 March 2010):
 You really feel that someone here would scold you? Is that because your boyfriend scolds you? Hmmmmm, red flag.
I don't know how you guys work this out. Does he call you even when you don't initiate the calls? Or does he just wait and sulk even you didn't?
He might have an ex who called him everyday and he's not used to your coolness. You maybe a quiet person and don't express yourself much. Tell him you don't feel the need to call everyday and you are not playing hard to get. If you have been dating for 2 years, you know each other well. Talk too much and you run out of things to say. It becomes a chore to hold a conversation in between awkward silences. Do you see a future with him? Do you love him enough to marry him?
He's creating a problem when there is none actually. Maybe he's doing all this to see if you still love him. When you two are together enjoying yourselves, it's all that matters. Don't acknowledge anything you did wrong because you didn't. Don't argue with him, explain yourself, defend yourself. Nothing's worse than not being able to be yourself in a relationship. However, I do believe it's helpful to talk about what you did each day, what you ate, how you feel. The conversation doesn't need to be long. It helps to hear a lover's voice before one goes to bed. This is not about proving your love. It's just a basic way to show him you care.
He's making a big deal out of this. Telling you to say sorry is unreasonable. Perhaps you are turned off by him somehow and just don't feel like talking to him anymore. You have to be honest with yourself about if you are happy with him.
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