A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i am preg but not with the father,he will stil be around for the baby..but sometimes he ignore's my messages and it would be only about the baby,why do men do that?? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2008): iv been txtin him about gettin stuff in for the baby,see he told me he was goin to get the buggy and that!but when i texted his phone askin for the money,he never texted back just stuff like that!one min his tellin me he has money there for me,but when i ask for it he ignore's me???im goin to be honest i do have feelings for him,and i no i have to get on with my life its just really hard.. it is just about my baby and thats wat im goin to concentrate on now thank u all... and just to let you's no his 24 so his not all that young!!
A
female
reader, pashanoodle  +, writes (3 July 2008):
 To be honest - this post doesn't tell us very much...everyone is just speculating on why this "dad to be" is behaving like this...but we really don;t know a thing about the situation, the 'relationship' or how the pregnancy came about...or about this guy's personality for that matter...so maybe we need to lay off on the judgements? Don't get me wrong - I am not unsympathetic to you anon, I am sure you never imagined yourself going through something so life-changing and beautiful all on your own...and I am sorry it has turned out like this for you. Chiraven is right though, you need to try to accept the situation for what it is. This guy isn't going to be able to provide you the support you need/want, sounds like he has made his intentions quite clear to you - so you need to find someone who can support you, whether that's a family member or a friend. You also need to face the fact that soon you will be a mother (which will bring you great joy I'm sure) but that you are more than likely going to be doing that without 'much' support from him too.You need to try to focus on getting yourself strong before this baby arrives...focus on YOU and your baby. Why have you been messaging him? What exactly is it you are telling him about the baby right now? Are you sure it isn't more about needing some form of acknowledgement or contact? I wouldn't blame you...pregnancy is a very emotional and anxious time for any woman!
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A
male
reader, Collaroy +, writes (3 July 2008):
 Hi,
if you are not together anymore then I think he may be in the mindset that he will be there for the baby when it is born and a functioning human being. As a guy he probably thinks that the pregnancy stuff is for when you are in a relationship.
You sound so young and I imagine he is too, which means unfortuantely he will most likely rather be hanging out with his mates at the pub than spending time coo-cooing over his pregnant ex girlfriend.
I'm not saying this is right, but young lads will be young lads, its a big call to expect him to be involved with your pregnancy if you are no longer together.
Just make sure he meets his obligations to you when you have the baby and in the meantime you need to lean on your family and girlfriends for support .
good luck mate.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2008): I bet if you had your lawyer call him, he wouold be Johnny on the Spot. Try that. It's about the baby, not you or him.
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A
male
reader, ChiRaven  +, writes (3 July 2008):
 Do you mean he doesn't GET messages that you leave for him that are strictly about the baby, or are you trying to use messages that you need to tell him something about the baby as an excuse to try to get him more involved with you? He's said he will be involved with the baby but apparently is not interested in a further relationship with you, for whatever reason. Not what I'd call a very responsible man, but all he promised was to be there for the baby, not for you.
If you have something that must be said about the baby (medical reports would be the most important thing I can think of right now, or possibly legal issues dealing with paternity), you need to have a way to be sure he gets those messages. If he doesn't have email or voice mail you should have a mutual friend or a relative of his you know who you can trust to pass on such important information. Other than that, get used to the idea that for now he's not interested in hearing from you. Obviously after the baby is born there will have to more contact if he is to play a meaningful part in the baby's life. But for now it's not necessary that you two be close in order for him to fulfill his promise.
As I say, I don't think much of this guy. I think any man who is responsible for starting a new life bears the moral responsibility for helping provide emotional support (at the very least) to his partner during pregnancy. But this guy isn't standing up to that, and apparently you've agreed to it, so you can't expect much more from him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2008): men are strange, you also seem rather young. parenting is a BIG deal. i think you should mabey have a think about this baby, this guy seems to be a bit immature. and its not men that do that, its boys. if he was a man he would accepte the fact hes gonna be a dad and get on with it. if hes gonna ignore you hes abviously not worth your effort. give up chasing him. have a talk with him face to face :)
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