| A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hi, my ex stoped speaking to me last Sept last yr , then all of a sudden he contacted me on 14 Feb, saying how he missed me, and how it was all him with being a father figer to my little girl and got scared, and wasnt used to someone being so nice to him, Anyway to cut a long story short, he said he wanted to try again and see us maybe get a job and move bk with us, In which I told him I will have a think avout it, I did msg him a few times asking uf he was serious about coming bk and he always said yesWell since Friday just gone ive not heard from him maybe about 3 times, I dont want to keep bugging him but I need to know what the hell is going on, seeing he is the one who msg me first, im not that worried about him coming back but im a little confused Amy advice on what I can do would be a lot of help Many thanks Amy jayne
View related questions:
my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, femmenoir  +, writes (10 March 2016):
 Hi Amy,
this ex of yours is troubled, period!
I agree with all 3 previous readers, he is messing with your head, your feelings, he's simply feeding you constant and utter bulls%#t!
He is telling you exactly what he knows YOU want to hear and possibly just to make sure you're still around, if and ever he should need your help.
The fact is, when a man truly loves a woman and is 100% committed to her and his family, well, none of this crap would be going on.
It is crap, crap that you don't need and crap that he enjoys dumping on you.
He knows he can get away with this sense of using you, this on and off connection, because you are playing and buying into it and HE KNOWS THIS!
I would strongly advise you, to block him via all your apps and get on with your life, because, guess what?
The most important thing in your life is actually not your messed up ex, it's your child, so get on with being the best possible Mum you can be and throw him away, like a bag of rubbish.
You don't have to be mean, but you should break all ties with him and you know, if he is serious about coming back and making it work for the long term, well, he will.
You won't have to text, ask, beg or grovel, so to speak.
I know he made the fisr connection and i know you aren't begging and you've mentioned that you can get by without him either way, however, do it and put pen to paper.
I wish you all the best! :-)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2016): He was alone on V-day and got all sentimental. He might have been under the influence of alcohol and got a little euphoric; and started reminiscing about the good ole days. As soon as he sobered-up and started thinking about the bad old times; he snapped out of it.
Cut all contact and stop feeding his ego. He needed to know you still have it for him; so he feels confident he still has some hold or control over your feelings.
Don't do this to yourself or your little girl. She can't understand all this back and forth bullsh*t. Apparently neither do you!
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (10 March 2016):
 Stop contacting him. It's up to him to PROVE to you by HIS actions that he is serious. You shouldn't have to keep try to get him to commit.
And it doesn't seem like he is as serious as he is telling you. My guess is he is bored and wanted some affection and attention. Which he got. He might have cut the contact because you still harbor doubts. But I think you have every right to doubt. Your FIRST priority is making sure that your child isn't put in the middle of some yo-yo on/off relationship.
Let him go Amy. If he is TRULY serious he will do what he can to make it happen, unfortunately he might not be as keen as you would like him to be.
You can't MAKE him do what he promised, but you CAN focus on what's important.. YOU and your child.
...............................
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 March 2016):
 It sounds like he is messing with your head. You and your little girl deserve a permanent fixture in your life, not someone who comes and goes as he pleases.
Remember he is an ex for a reason. He was probably feeling lonely so he gave you a text told you what you wanted to hear. Now he may have met someone else or he has just changed his mind so he is ignoring you. I would block all details you have and move forward with your life. You deserve better.
...............................
|
