A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:A guy said he wanted a relationship with me and was looking at a family and kids etc then somewhere along the line he decided to focus on sex- we never slept together since it felt like he was putting too much pressure. Went like this for a while. One day he told me that he would hurt the me and how great I am, deserve more and how can I know for a fact that he’s not seeing anyone else.He wants me to be happy. every once in a while he implied he wanted more and i just ignored it. i bascially said lets keep it just friends and nothing elseHis pals said I was the best thing to ever happen to him and he wants us to be together and really cares about me but our differences were too much but They still saw things coming right and he really cares about me. I found recently via the grapevine that he had a girlfriend of 2 years and she knew that I exist and that we talk. I barely spoke to him since and he knows why. It became a case of I greet when i see him and answer his questions if I really have to and walk away, all very civil.I ran into the guy at the supermarket recently and he started talking for some reason. He said that he really cares about his girlfriend and doesn’t want to screw things up with either one of us and that’s why he left it at just friends with me since they were together for a long time.He wants me in his life and he wanted something definite (sex is my guess here) to happen with us but couldn’t hurt us both. Now he still expects me to belive that he cares and wants to be friends and that he has my interests at heart? I was doing fine, I didnt even pursue to the matter with him because it just didnt feel worth it, even when he knew that I knew what was going on, so why is he instigating all this again?
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your advice, both of you. I appreciate it. I really needed an objective response. Thanks again.
A
female
reader, aphexinfinite  +, writes (21 May 2008):
 to me it sounds like hes keeping his options open that if it falls through with her hell have you as a back up plan.. or maybe for once hes genuine but hey i think its the other way round. to be honest you said you were happy before so if i was you ide move on from this and detach yourself away from the situation you sound like you dont need the hassle and have plenty of enjoyable things to be doing.. hope this helps A xx
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A
female
reader, caring-chrissy +, writes (20 May 2008):
He is probably struggling with his current relationship. Men have a tendency to keep several balls in the air, just incase. He obviously went through a bad patch with his girlfriend once before, other wise he wouldn't have gone looking and found you. If you don't want to end up in a relationship with him, then you don't need to. If you don't want to be friends, then there is no reason to. you weren't happy before, and there is very little chance you will be again. so if you don't want to see him again, simply severe all contact. Just tell him you don't want to go there again. and make sure he knows it will never happen. He should leave you alone after that, because men don't like their ego's being deflated. and if that is what it is going to take, then you needent feel guilty about doing it.
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