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female
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anonymous
writes: I have been divorced for 3 years and have not wanted to get involved with anyoneuntil 10th Sept when a man came into my place of work. We chatted for some time, and some 2 hours later he phoned me, saying he would like to see me and left his mobile number. we saw it other 5 times over the next 8 weeks, and it all felt fine.He is divorced and has children under the age of 10, and explained right from the start that he did not have a lot of free time but would try and make time for us to get to know each other, and in the meantime texted me every morning, afternoon and last thing at night.The last time we meet was 7th October, and everything felt fine. He did expalain he would,nt be able to see for for 2 weeks but we would make arrangements as soon as he had a free evening to go out. He continued texting me sometimes 7 times a day, but was making no effort to arrange another meeting. While replying to one of his text some 3 weeks after our last date, i asked him if he might have any spare time, for us to meet, and he went into a long tale of how he was having his children yet again over the weekend and was sorry he was vague but frindship was all he could offer at the moment. When i question what that ment in real terms, he responded with he liked me but there was no x factor, and yet he was still texting me several times a day, and always last thing at night to wish me sweet dreams. He has since told me how lovely he thinks I am, and that he did,nt think it was fair to just fit me in to his life, but would like to keep in touch.I really liked him, and I don,t know what went wrong. Is he a lost cause
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2006): I think first off you might want to tell him you don't want to text message him any more, that you prefer a live one on one phone conversation and meeting....I think guys use text messaging to keep women on the hook without really having to make an effort to see her so that they can be selfish and see other women or do whatever else they want. And it just becomes too frequent and you are always wondering when is the next message coming. Tell him you prefer a real one on one relationship.
He is telling you that he did not feel the right chemistry with you, and that may be why he is cooling things off.
You did not do anything wrong, it just happens sometimes, and just be confident that he was not right for you.
Sometimes guys do get scared if they have strong feelings for you and they back off so they can think about whether or not they want a deeper relationship with you, and you should not try to talk him into this or convince him to feel as you do because it does not work with men...you can tell him how you feel about him I guess, but maybe you should just ignore him for awhile and get busy with your life and maybe date others, who knows he could always come back after a time when he sees you are not going to fall apart without him. He may be tentative because of his divorce, you don't say how long it had been since that was for him, but he may not be ready for a new relationship just now.
You could try staying in touch if you want to with a card or a phone message to let him know the door is open if he wants to ring you up again, but for now I would just not try to read too much into this...he may just need time and space, and the only thing you can do is give it to him.
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