A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:When a man says he needs 'time to sort out his head' after an argument, How long do you consider is appropriate? !I feel almost foolish to ask but I havent contacted Its 3 days now and a slight panic is setting inWould appreciate some adviceOh and its a b/f and he lives in another country Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2009): Thank you Wise and gentle words from bothAnd yes its the distance thats the basic problemHe is desperately hurt that i invited a male friend I view as strictly platonic to visit. I had no idea he harboured this jealousyMy immediate abject apologies and cancellation made no differenceI have to just trust and wait Thank you
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2009): I don't have enough information you see it depends on the argument, the length of time you have been apart and the intensity of the relationship between you both. That said, bearing in mind that he is in another country. I mean how long is he staying there for? You guys talk about staying together over a period of time while he is abroad? Long distance relationships are tremendously stressful and the parties argue about everything because it frustrates them deeply because they cannot be together. Hearing the sound of your voice and you hearing his not being able to physically be there for each other, while you may not be aware of it, it does create tension and depending on your relationship, a long distance relationship wreaks havoc on your insecurities.Your communication is the only thing that can help you survive it and even then it takes two to stay in touch which inevitably, will mean that both of you would need to have a certain degree of understanding and emotional maturity of what is expected of your relationship and emotional maturity is not something gained as you grow older its all about the level of your emotional understanding of where your relationship is.I was sixteen when I tried and failed miserably at my long distance relationship. I still love her we are both married and living in separate countries and both have kids... we lost our ability to communicate.. I know she still loves me I do but the distance way back then broke it down to much. I've actually been thinking of calling her just to reaffirm how I feel about her even though that was 23 years ago well not going to actually do it but I do feel like it.In any event remember that the distance is a good time to give each other a break and see if the sunshine is still with you until you meet again. Give him as much space as he needs. He will come around just be calm and trust him and trust in what you have/had.
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