A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been in a relationship with a guy for 14 months. We study in the same college and things were great. We loved each other. We used to spend a lot of time together and we were very happy. However as the college closed for the summer vacation, we have been apart and things were still going well. We used to call each other everyday and everything seemed fine. Suddenly one day he told me that he wanted a break, that he didn't want to hurt me but he wants different things in life and I am just in his way so I should understand and give him a little space and time.I got so worried, I asked him what was wrong but he didn't reply.The next day he sent a message saying he loved me and that he was not in his right mind lately and we should forget everything and go back to being happy as we were.I thought everything was sorted out then and the next day I asked him if he could meet me so we could talk properly. He then said he still needed time.( I am his first girlfriend while I had a boyfriend before him.) He told me that I hadn't been single for a long time and I didn't know what it was to be independent and happy alone. He said he wanted to choose his partner logically and not emotionally so that he doesn't regret later on. He told me that he feels we want different things in life and that he is under a lot of stress and he has lots of things going on and lots to take care of so I shouldn't irritate him. When I asked him if something was wrong at home or if there was some kind of problem. To that he replied by saying he had problem with me and that he wanted a break from me and I should not bother him. He told me that I should learn to enjoy alone , spend time on myself and don't just build my life around him. He said that if I wanted to be with him I should be stronger and he needed to see that I don't always need a guy in my life. He told me that missing him was one thing , that he missed me too but he needed to respect me. After this I told him that I will stay away from him.The next day he sent a text saying sorry if he said too much and he knows I try very hard for us. That was the last text from him. He hasn't contacted me from then. It's been more than a week. I sent him a few texts in-between saying what he was trying to do,a asking whether he wants to break up, or whether he needs more time to think. He hasn't replied to any. I am really worried. I love him so much. And this in between thing is making me go mad. I don't even know if we are in a relationship or broken up. Please I need some advice as to what I should do . Please help.
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female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (24 June 2017):
 It sounds like, in his own clumsy inept way, he is trying to say that you are too dependent on him and too clingy.
I would assume you are no longer in a relationship. I suspect he may have found someone else who is of interest to him and is just keeping you on the back burner in case the new romance doesn't work out. Don't be anyone's Plan B. You deserve to be Plan A - always. Find yourself someone who will always treat you as a priority, not as an afterthought.
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