A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of 2 1/2 years just broke up with me 6 days ago .. seriously out of nowhere...this is such a long story i'll try to keep it short. He was acting weird one day and then the next day broke it off and said he was moving out right then and there and he did. He said alot but long story short that i was so amazing and deserve a life that he cant and wont give me. He works ALOT but i have ALWAYS been ok with that...we were working towards our future.He has told me in many ways that we are building our life together bought me and engagement ring on our 1 year but not as a proposal just as a gift and told me he would make an honest woman out of me one day told one of our mutual friends that he wanted to marry me one day ect.. Now he says he lied about all of it and that he was trying to want that life but he doesnt.I don't know it seems fishy to me..He is so not a jerk and there seems to be no reason for this to me..that is why i am so in a state of shock and so devastated!! i want him back i feel like this is not the reason but i have to believe him because i have nothing else to go on...he swears there is noone else and has actually slept over 2 times since he broke it off tells me he loves me still calls me baby and i really am at a loss.... i have no idea what to think ...it is totally messing with my head HELP
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female
reader, PsyCookie  +, writes (27 August 2008):
 I think that if you want to be with him, talk to him about your relationship and tell him that you want it to work.
But if you don't, then take this as a sign and get out of his life. Also, if he insists, after so much explanation from your part that you just want him and don't care for other things, that he can't bring you happiness, then just leave him and if you dare, offer him therapy because that man will probably not change and not give you happiness. You'll waste your time with him if this happens.
The decision is yours. Good luck.
Ps: Yes, a man would still love you even when the two of you don't have sex. Sex does not equal love.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks so much for all the insight gals! If nothing else it's nice to hear what outside peopel think of this...
Just to clear one thing up he was not my fiance.. just gave me an engagement ring as a gift and did not propose...called me"the wife" all the time though which i quickly put a stop to telling him that calling me that was a privelige NOT a right.I told him that wearing the ring was going to be almost annoying because all the girls were going to go AWWWWWWWW and i would hve to explain each time that no i was NOT engaged..and he would say "so tell them we are i don't care"
SO the thing is that it seems as though he is all over the place in his head and tells me one thing and then the opposite....does a guy still want you if they still sleep over and cuddle(no sex) and calls you his boo and his baby?...we had a little saying all the time i would say "me and you boo?" and he would reply"all the way" ddoes that not mean ...forever to you or i would say "in it together right and he would have that response...it's hard to let go whn it feels like nothing went wrong:(
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2008): The first poster has a point (I couldn't see their response until after I posted mine). I do think this guy has some self esteem issues. The thing is that insecure men are never worth the investment of your heart and soul because they cannot or will not step up and lead the relationship....it is really a waste of time....sadly no amount of love from you is going to fix him or give him self esteem, that only comes from within.....unless you are being really hateful to him, you have nothing to fix....except yourself. Decide if this is what you are willing to settle for....I think not.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2008): Okay, first thing I want to say is are you nuts? Stop sleeping with this man pronto. He broke up with you after giving you an engagement ring as a gift? Come on, he has never made a full commitment to you.....he merely wanted to keep you from dating others so he could have you to himself and he lamely gave you a ring because he thought that is what he should do, or that is what you would expect from him after a certain amount of time went by and you were still in a relationship with him. This is called a drive by engagement.....like a drive by shooting, you are nothing more than a victim of a thief of your heart.
You are literally sacrificing your love life for a man who has little character and is not mature enough or or mostly SECURE in himself to be able to commit to you fully.
Thank your lucky stars that you doged this bullet and let him go lie with the other dogs, let him go get a woman more his caliber, some girl who with round heels that is looking for a good time.
Geesh, kick him to the curb and don't look in the rear view mirror!
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A
female
reader, PsyCookie +, writes (27 August 2008):
This doesn't sound fishy at all to me, but it does sound really weird.
This guy sounds sincere to me and I think he's sincerely having doubts about himself and the relationship. I think he really feels inadequate and thinks he will not make you happy at all in the future.
What he did was highly unusual and it should be something to be worried about. I think he might have been pondering about all of this before but something or someone told him something that completely make him choose what to do. Which was break it off with you.
I think what you should do is try to talk to your ex-fience about all of this. I really think that he has a good reason for all of this and he's just hiding it from you out of fear and shame. So just try to talk to him about it, insist to him that the two of you need to talk about this.
When you do talk, try to keep your composure. DON'T BE OVERDRAMATIC. Also, let him talk and listen well, and offer him to be honest and say everything.
I really don't think he ever lied and he just said that so you would stop persuing him and gone and find better happiness that he didn't think he would give you. I really think he has some serious self-esteem problems within him, so just talk to him about them with him, make him feel that you just care about him.
Good luck.
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