A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello I need help here, because I am very confuse, I have been dating this guy for around 7 months, he is wonderfull with me, he does everything to please me. We have been exclusive since the begining. Like 2 months after we started dating he told me that he didn't wanted a relationship because he was afraid of losing his freedom, but at the same time he knew that I was the perfect girl for him, that he has never have the kind of feelings he has for me for anyone else, he also say that he has never liked someone as he likes me. So at that time I kind of was mad because of that situation, but I decided to stay because I was obtaining the same beneficts of a relationship, like we was seeing eachother with regularity, we would talk on the phone, we would text eachother or email eachother, he would come to me when he has any problem or when he has something nice that happen to him, also he would give up time with his friends to spend time with me, because he has a really bussy schedule.So I though that I should stay because with him everything is perfect and i am getting the same beneficts of a relationship, but since a couple of months ago he started like telling things like "well I think if we talk about this our relationship will be better" or "if we have kids together they are going to be really nerd"( because we are both very nerd, I am engineer and he is studing computer schience) or something like "if you acquire my lastname is going to look preety funny"( he has a russian lastname and i have a last name in spanish, and the only situation that I know when a woman aquire a different last name in this country is when she gets married). Other time he told me something and I reply, "Why do you ask that if you are not anyways be my husband?", then he look at me and all what he said was " awwwwwwwwwww", so now I don't know what all those expressions that he said mean, because if a female made this kind of coments to a guy, the guy freaks out and ran away, i am really confuse even when we share strong feelings for each other, I don't know what to think and what is worst how to act when he made this coments
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Star_07 +, writes (26 September 2008):
 I think the best solution here is to first figure out what you want. Do you want a serious relationship with him? Would you consider marrying him?
And then, you need to talk to him. Tell him how you feel and ask how he feels about the relationship. Is he serious about you? Where is this relationship going? Tell him that you noticed he has been making comments about marriage and kids, and how this makes you feel.
In a relationship, its best to be open about your wants/needs and plans for the future. He may have not wanted something serious after only 2 months but now has changed his opinion. You never know until you have that talk. Not all guys run away, they just deal with these situations differently.
Good Luck!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2008): Are you having sex? If so it's a relationship, regardless of what he thinks it is. Wants his freedom? Wants the option to see other women he means. i.e cake and eat it too.
Tell him you like it how it is because you have your freedom too. Go out with friends. He will soon change his mind when he gets a taste of his own medicine.
Good luck
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