A
female
age
,
*eahright
writes:ive been living with my partner for 30 years over the past 5 years our sex life has gone downhill. we have tried talking about it but we go round in circles. my libido is higher than his and more sex would be nice but for some time he has not wanted to make love to me and i feel so hurt and unloved, he often either gets up early or stays up late to pleasure himself, and i ask him what about me, but he says he can't do it if his heart isn't in it. So where do i go from here.
View related questions:
libido, sex life, unloved Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (12 May 2007):
 If HE feels he doesn't need sex as often then tell him you would still like him to please YOU! It doesn't always have to be penetrative sex if he doesn't want that but if he loves you then he should want to please you. Ask him to give you plenty of stimulation through oral or whatever it is that turns you on. It's not all about him though and there's got to be a compromise here.
Buy some new toys and ask him to use them on you. Be more spontaneous, give HIM oral when he least expects it, I'm sure THAT will turn him on. Of course he can't "turn on" on demand but with a bit of titillation then he'll become aroused, he's a man after all!
Eve
A
female
reader, yeahright +, writes (12 May 2007):
yeahright is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell i sat down with him he says he still loves me and wants me but selfishly only when he wants me, and he cant just turn on ,,,on demand, over the past 30 years we have tried swapping and loads of other things to spice things up but still he remains adamment that he just doesnt need sex as much but he still cares he doesnt think he is or has donr anything wrong but still wont try to sort things out do i go elsewhere...your thoughts would be gratefull
...............................
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (12 May 2007):
Why is his heart not in it? Have you asked him that? I think you need to sit down with him and have a good talk with him. Ask him if he still has feelings for you or does he find you repulsive to look at? It sounds to me as if he's just being selfish here and lazy! He prefers to masturbate to please HIMSELF rather than spend any time pleasing you.
If, after the talk he DOES say he still loves you then why don't you try to spice up your sex life? I can give you some ways to do that if you want me to. Have that talk with him first though to see exactly where you stand with him and how he actually feels about you now. It could be he feels he's in a rut, that the relationship is more of a habit than anything else. Maybe he just needs a kick start in the sex department. Find out his thoughts first though then get back to me okay?
Eve
...............................
|
