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He read my comment on facebook and totally misunderstood it

Tagged as: Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 January 2011) 1 Answers - (Newest, 17 January 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hi! I really dont know what to do about this guy i like. Ive been meeting him for about 3 months now. Everything has been great, we spend alot of time together, like each other and he recently asked me out, this week.. I said i didnt know what i wanted, i like him alot but have not long ago come out of a very abusive relationship with a much older man. He understood and said we could carry on as we were for now. Well tonight, (i live alone) im babysitting my friends little boy (my godson) who is nearly 1, hes stopping overnight with me because shes working at 5 in the morning. I wrote a facebook status saying, 'aw, mi gorgeous little daniel snoring at the side of me, love you lots babyboy! 3' he has obviosly read it and hes assumed i have a man staying with me. He wrote a huge status about how hes sick of gettin messed about and he cant trust anyone and hes sick of been used like a doormat! I mailed him saying 'whats up?' because at first it didnt click.. And he put back 'just sick of getting used and messed about! Slags need to make up their mind what they want, i need a new start! So i replied with 'is this about me?' and even though hes still online and this was almost 4 hours ago, i guess it is! I sent him a following email about an hour ago saying 'look rick its obviously me your on about but im not messing you about! Ive had a shit time with men and i thought you were different! But jumping at the opportunity to call me a slag doesnt make me feel too good. Daniel is my godson, but to be honest, i wish i had had a man round! Least id feel better, enjoy your fresh start!x' i know this has been blown out of proportion but he shouldnt jump to conclusions. He obviously doesny trust me! Was i out of order! Was he out of order? Should i just forget him? I cant even think straight!! I thought he liked me!

View related questions: facebook, older man

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A female reader, lacrymosa_652 United Kingdom +, writes (17 January 2011):

lacrymosa_652 agony auntIf you really like this guy, you should try and talk this out properly, and resolve this issue. You shouldn't have gotten angry and said that you wish you'd had a man around, as it's an honest mistake on his part. Having said that, he probably shouldn't have jumped to conclusions and it's definitely not right for him to call you a slag, so I understand you being angry.

Facebook, along with every other Social Networking site, can cause trouble with relationships. People get jealous when they see their partners talking to people of the opposite sex, or getting friend requests from people of the opposite sex they don't know. And as with your case, there's the issue of misinterpreting statuses and comments. Once, a friend of mine wrote something on my Facebook status, and my boyfriend at the time totally overreacted to it, because he thought I'd written it and thought it meant that I didn't care about him - it wasn't even anything to do with him, it was just the way he interpreted it. And he was upset and angry and said he wanted to go on a break, so ridiculous. Anyway we cleared it up and I'm sure he felt a bit stupid for interpreting it wrong.

Anyway, if you think it's worth being with this guy, if you honestly like him enough to want to be with him, then explain what you meant; if he's a decent guy he'll accept the fact that he made a mistake and apologise for calling you a slag, or implying that you are one.

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