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He raped me, and is now dating my sister! What should I do?

Tagged as: Family, Love stories, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 February 2009) 8 Answers - (Newest, 1 January 2011)
A female United States age 30-35, *zraMayweather writes:

About 4 years ago, I was raped. I was 15 at the time, I am 19 now. I never told anyone but my sister. And I told her to never tell anyone. She gave me her promise. (She is 24 now) it all happend on april 4th 2004. I was coming home from visiting my brothers grave site and this handsome guy walked up next to me and was asking me where I was headed, I told him home. Than he asked did I need a ride, and I told him no, I lived on the other side and it would be too far....he said okay and walked away, as I approached the corner a car drove up next to me two men jumped out, I saw his face! It was the same guy who asked me if I need the ride, him and a friend put me in the back of the car and told me to not scream or they would kill me b4 Jesus got my prayers. As they drove me to where they were taking me I could see his friend (the driver) had immediate remorse, he was realy quiet and didn't look me in my face not once. But the guy next to me was just rubbing my legs telling me how if I behavied he would make a woman out of me. I knew than what was going to happen, he was a big guy, similar to Reggie Bush's size of the New Orlean Saints and I was fairly little. They drove to another graveyard and his friend got out the car to smoke a cigarette, that's when he began to kiss me, I started to do what I saw from the Lifetime movies, I started kicking and swinging, once I got that blow to my jaw, I realized this wasn't a lifetime movie at all, it was real life, and I was about to be raped....and I did. I cried and begged him to stop....I felt my body almost tearing in two. He stopped and pushed me out the car and told his friend to come. His friend looked at me and shook his head then the sped off. I never forgot his face. Once I got home I never told anyone, only because my brother had been murdered 1 week prior to my incident, and my mother was dealing with that as it is. And I didn't want to cause her anymore pain. I told my sister and it killed her that I didn't want anyone to know. But she respected my wishes. I ended up finding out I was pregnant a month later, but I was in a relationship at the time. And my boyfriend does believe that our son is his. (I never told him either) but deep inside I don't know what to believe. And my christian background wouldn't allow me to abort. Long story short, my sister had been bragging about this wonderful guy she had met and we all were curious to meet this man...who in her words was "Gods gift to Women" low in behold it was that same man. When I saw him my heart sank, and I fell to my knees. Not becuase he scared me, but because my son is damn near his 4 year old twin! And I knew then and there the thruth was out. My mom asked me was I okay but I told her it was a "Charlie horse". I went to my room and burst into tears, I put that behind me and tried to move on from it the best was I could.... and my past came back to haunt me....please, what should I do.

View related questions: christian, move on, swinging

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A female reader, misty1104 United States +, writes (1 January 2011):

well you could tell ur boyfriend or

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A female reader, cynnibuns Canada +, writes (9 March 2010):

i am only writing this because it's anonymous. nobody would believe it because my dad is (was) a respected man,...

the first time was at my sisters wedding out of town...i was 9... i woke up naked next to him.... and my privates hurt, i was laying next to my dad, and i told him.. he slapped my face and said i could never tell anybody.

the next time was later in the summer... he called me into his shed...and made me sit on his sawing horse, my feet didnt touch the ground..i remember the pain on my delicate privates.. and he made me sit there like that all day....

was this wrong? was this really a punishment? that is just 2 incidents, there are many more...

but now he died of cancer... what can i do now to get my justice?

omg, just admitting this made me feel better, sorry if i didnt answer your questions.

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A female reader, MommyOf4 United States +, writes (1 March 2010):

you are a very strong young woman and i pray that you will make the best decision!! I want you to know if you do come forward he can be prosecuted to this day for rape so you wouldn't have to worry about him being around after you come forward. he got you pregnent while you were 15 and that itself is rape which holds no statue of limitations!!! i am so sorry this happened to you but if you truly love your sister you will tell and if she truly loves you she will support you!! i would tell your mother first so you at least have someone backing you!!! don't be alarmed if your sister is angered or even distraught or skeptical this is gonna be hard on the whole family but in the end i'm positive it will all be for the best!! your the baby sis right?? well bg sisters always have that natural instinct to protect they're lil sisters and i'm confident she will support you!!!

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A female reader, lilly123 United Kingdom +, writes (28 February 2009):

lilly123 agony auntYou need to tell them, wot you did was amazing but do you really wont your sister with a rapist he could end up being abusive to her and he could still be raping people because if he doesnt remember you it carnt have been the first time he has done it. It must be killing you inside but you have to tell them not only for them but mostly for you, you should not have to be around him all the time. Tell them!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2009):

i would show your sister what you have written here. tell her you are scared and need her help. Show her.

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A female reader, EzraMayweather United States +, writes (14 February 2009):

EzraMayweather is verified as being by the original poster of the question

EzraMayweather agony auntNo. She does not know this was him....and honestly I'm not sure if knows it was me, he smiles and jokes when I am around like nothin ever happened or maybe its his sick mind games he plays, but my mom loves him and my sister hold him on a pedastol. Even my son likes him. They wrestle and play video games, and I'm hurting inside so much. I see so much of him in my son physically....they even have that same blank look on theier faces when they are zoned into the game. I can't stand to be here. If I break my silence I will cause so much pain and hurt to everyone. I'm hurting so much inside, and I'm at my ropes end.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2009):

You need to tell you sister immediately! This guy is a monster and will continue to be!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2009):

It is time for honesty and bravery on your part. Nothing, absolutely nothing, about what you have said about what happened is your fault. You have protected other people in holding things in but it has simply come back to haunt you as you say. You can run from this or you can confront it. I would talk to your mother first - explain how you tried to protect her following your brothers death. Draw strength together if you can. Your sister knows this is the guy that raped you? If she doesn't she needs to. If she does you cannot live with that image in your head. You are older and wiser now and must not carry this. Whatever happened to you show yourself some respect. Be prepared to involve a lawyer or the police. Please understand that there are many women who never get the chance to convict their attacker and live a half-life. Perhaps this is your second chance to, once and for all, get justice.

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