A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So my bf of 1 year had a previous relationship 12 years ago and supposedly raised her daughter for 7 years. well last year before he met me he started talking to the daughter who is now 16 but she calls over and over, sometimes up to 7 or 8 times when he doesnt pick up and she will call restricted or from a number he doesnt know and text him 4 or 5 times. he started talking to to her less and less and now on facebook she always whines and says why wont you talk to me? please talk to me! i just want to talk to him! Why wont he talk to me? its like shes stalking him but he defends her right to call him because shes 16 but shes not his daughter. i really need some advice.....
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (6 May 2011):
 emotionally he's her dad. I have an 18 yr old step daughter i raised from 10-18 and she calls me mommy....
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (6 May 2011):
 7 years is a long time to look up to someone, that sort of respect and emotional dependance doesn't simply disappear. In many ways it is the equivalent of her biological father just disappearing from her life. She'll want to know why. This is something he needs to discuss with her instead of ignoring her.
I hope that helps.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (6 May 2011):
 He was there and raised her for almost half her life. Did you expect that he would just stop feeling like the "dad" he has been and move on? Or that she would just think :"Oh well he isn't my real dad..."
My hubby dated a girl with two daughters for 6 years. they broke up 15 years ago. WE (both he and I) still talk to the girls ( though not their mom) WE have helped them with college, advice and that sort of stuff. Now he knows they aren't biologically his, but after 6 years of raising them, he still feels a fatherly connection. The girls needed a father figure, still do and he supports it.
Now if she is a little too much over the top he needs to be the one to put the foot down. Ignoring her is not the answer. The girl have relied on him for a long time and it will take time for her to accept that he isn't there every day any more.
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