A
female
age
41-50,
*ciferousgirl
writes:I met this guy online, but recently we have argued alot more than usually... considering we never argured.He asked me to marry him, which I want to with all my heart, but now for some reason, it want to be put on hold. But not by my choice, by his.. He has reasons, (which are very good reasons), but money should never hold back love... The way I see it, if you wait to have enought money, you will never be ready... I dont' know what to think or fill in this situation. I want to be with him, married or not, but I have 3 little boys that will need someone to look after them if something should happen to me, and with all my heart and soul I want my boyfriend to be that man that teaches them right from wrong.
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (11 June 2010):
 From what it sounds like, I think he's in earnest about marrying you, and about preparing for marriage. The best thing for you to do is to help with the strategy of making more money. Instead of fighting him or telling him "Love is all we need", ask him for a specific goal he has in mind, and help to achieve it.
This will serve two purposes
1. It will draw you both closer together in a way you haven't yet experienced. There's no greater bond than to work towards a future together in every aspect, including financially.
2. It will reveal how serious he is. If he offers up a clearly unattainable goal (or one that would take 30 years to achieve), or he seems hesitant to discuss steps taken towards that goal, then there might be something other than finances that's holding him back.
However, I think that 2 is unlikely. Think of it as battle strategy. If both of your hearts are into being together, then map out how to make that a reality. It doesn't have to all be on his shoulders. It's not about "waiting" to have more money. It's about taking steps to make more money.
There's definitely hope for both of you! Love will help you both do what you have to do.
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