A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating my boyfriend (whom I live with) for about a year and a half now. He is seven years my senior.We used to have sex on a regular basis; at least once a day, sometimes more. We also did a lot of couple-y things like going for walks, sitting on the couch cuddling and were just very affectionate in general.Recently I am struggling to get his attention. All he wants to do is play computer games in his spare time. I always have to initiate any kind of contact; even just cuddling.He always calls me beautiful and says he is attracted to me, but the only time we have sex is when I throw myself at him. I have asked him why, but he always has an excuse. He is always "not feeling well" or "tired". He used to be up for it anytime, no matter what.I am just not sure what to do, or think about all of this. Why does he not want to have sex with me?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2011): You should tell him it's either you or the Games.
And I'm actually a game addict. Not proud of it though.., :(
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2011): This sounds like it wasn't a problem before now?Lack of sex drive usually means stress or anxiety, more than lack of attraction. So before you think it's related to your physical appearance or not, you have to ask yourself: Is he stressed in his work or personal life? Do you argue a lot or is there tension in your relationship? Worries of money, kids, family trouble, etc.?Gaming is usually a means of escape from common stresses. A way to relieve oneself from those burdens, and if this 'escape' came on in the middle of your relationship, to the point where it is now causing issues, then you need to look at what has changed and come upwith a 'game'-plan (heh-heh, sorry for pun) to get around it.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (13 June 2011):
 I would prance up to his computer desk wearing a naughty get-up, don't even ask for sex. If that doesn't make him get off of his game then he's get a gaming addiction. I'm just hoping the game isn't World of Warcraft, because you won't win against that game.
How often is he on this game? If it's all the time of where the relationship is being SERIOUSLY neglected then you've got to intervene.
The times he's not on it, sit him down and talk to him about limiting his gaming time so he's still able to have a relationship with you. Keep in mind you two do reside in the same house, and you need your own personal time. It's not necessary to ALWAYS be doing something together. During his gaming time, I suggest you occupy your time with other activities, or just get out of the house.
Don't go too hard on him at first, give him a bit to adjust but still be firm about it. If the gaming problems continue then you're going to have to take a more drastic approach such as locking the internet, or giving him an ultimatum.
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A
male
reader, freeme +, writes (13 June 2011):
 Sounds like he is addicted to the games. You have the power to give him a choice...
When we are together, no video games. You can't make him want sex, but you can insist he participates in the relationship.
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A
female
reader, xAngels +, writes (13 June 2011):
I'm in the same boat as you too! I don't know what's happening maybe the relationship is just becoming a little bit boring? I know mine has been in a rut for a while and well we haven't had sex for three weeks so far. So what we've decided to do is spice up our sex lives... ;)
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