A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:HiI originally posted this question:http://www.dearcupid.org/question/we-have-been-getting-on-so-well-but.htmlPlease read that first because this is a follow on from that. Basically he picked her. I am shocked and upset and dissapointed. Even though we were only seeing eachother, I did like him and felt there was someting there.He was very nice about it and said that although he did want to be more than friends with me, he couldnt have both me and his ex and he wanted to see how things worked with his ex. He's not sure if they will work out.I'm really struggling to deal with it all because most times when you are seing someone if it ends, it just fizzles out. This hasnt fizzled out, its just stopped and I'm feeling a bit upset. It's like one day I was happily having dinners with him and we were flirting constantly, and the next it's all had to end.I still want to stay friends with him because part of me feels I want to be there if it doesn't workout with his but I really need some advice on how to deal with it right now. I don't hate him for picking her and I understand why he did - he'd been seing her for months prior to me, and he had only been seeing me a few weeks. He knows her better. But I still like him. I can't shake the memories of being with him and having a laugh with him.Thoughts and advice?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2009): You don't want to be anybody's rebound. He clearly is not over his ex and they are going to give it another go. I would not remain the friend whom he talks to about his relationship and I would just move on and put your focus on you. Go out and date some other men,
That is why they call it dating, you have to go through a lot of crappy ones to find the right one for you.
I am sorry you are disappointed, but people will continue to disappoint you throughout your life, they are people and they do things that do not make sense when you are dealing with emotional decisions. It doesn't mean that you aren't a great woman and that things won't work out better for you in the end. Tak
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2009): I’m sorry:( What a bummer. I can offer you a little hope, boyfriends and girlfriends come and go, but friends are forever. I know you are upset and it feels like a kick in the teeth, but who is to say that the two of you won’t end up together. Like he said he needs to do this, all you can do is let him go. Just don’t wait around and mope, as Honeypie said it won’t help you at all.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (23 July 2009):
 He is trying to do the "honorable" thing and give the ex a try. At least that I what I think he is believing.
I would honestly NOT hang around and be the friend while he/they figure out if they are for each other or not. It is not going to help you at all.
I'm sorry he didn't pick you. His loss.
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