A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend of almost 3 years packed up all his stuff and moved out while i was at work, then called me after he had already moved out, supposidly he is living with a guy from his work but he didn't really tell me much except that he loved me but he wasn't "in" love with me, i mean what does that even mean? i haven't heard from him except for the day after he moved out and we talked for like 2 seconds and after he was done saying what he had to say he says i love you. that just messed with my head. i really loved him i am a very good person and he even said so himself he said i just don't get him anymore. i asked him he was seeing someone else but he swears he isn't but i don't really know any guy that just up and leaves with no explanation except im not "in" love with you. he said he would love me no matter what happens, i don't understand it. he hurt me so badly and to add to it i have a little girl in which he has been there since she was a year old and i don't know what im going to tell her. she hasn't asked any questions "yet". i know that there are worse things that happen to other people but i am a good person and i did everything in the world for him and then he just leaves me without even really saying goodbye, he said he didn't want a long goodbye? what does that mean. did he think i would try to make him stay if he really didn't love me anymore, i wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't love me, i just wish i could get an explanation. but i have been not calling him though i really want to to just find out what went wrong. i don't get it. i know i will be fine in the end that its just getting there thats the hard part. i cant really sleep and i do work. i just don't know what to do? i still love him and always will but i do want to get over him, how?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (26 June 2011):
 He packed and left you while you were out at work because he is a coward and couldn't handle telling you to your face that he was leaving. He just didn't have the courage for that, which makes him not a very nice person in one sense as he didn't think about how this would make you feel and he should have at least gave you an explanation.
I cannot tell you if there is someone else or not because I don't know the guy but he might just be telling the truth that he fell out of love with you. Unfortunately these things do happen and my guess is he felt like that for a while but just didn't know how to get out of the relationship.
The way he left you was horrible and off course it is going to be hard for you to get closure and move on. He at least owes you an explanation. But if am honest I don't think that he is manly enough to talk to you to your face. So I guess you just need to accept that it is over and look to your future. Off course it is going to be hard for a while just make sure you have friends and family around you to offer a shoulder to cry on and to keep you busy.
Make sure you get nights out with friends and enjoy yourself. If you cannot get a babysitter well then invite your friends to your place and keep yourself occupied. If you need to cry well cry. But try and stay strong for your daughter. Most importantly you need to accept in your heart that he is not in love with you any more and that the relationship is over. Good luck.
A
female
reader, sammy1986  +, writes (26 June 2011):
i really feel sorry for you he has took the cowards way out rather than telling you face to face how he was feeling personally i think he has probably met someone else i don,t mean to upset you but men don,t always think with there brains and at least your daughter is to young to understand what is going on i would forget him and move on you sound to much of a decent person for him
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A
female
reader, a_maldita  +, writes (26 June 2011):
 Getting over a person your really loved is so hard. Been there and done that. I kept telling myself I will survive without him but my world turns upside down simply by the thought of losing him. I can't eat well, work well and basically can't do anything at all. I smile but behind that I still keep the pain inside me. Yours is much worst than mine because he took off with no reason. He should at least have respected your relationship at the first place. 3 yrs is already long enough to threw it all away.. Hope you got answers from him soon so you will get peace.. Good luck!!
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