| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: Hey I'm 23, F, and I have been with my bf for 2 years now and he's become very obsessed with me. My picture's everywhere, won't leave me alone. I have had enough. I don't feel the same for him but I don't know how to break up with him because I'm scared he will kill himself. Please help me! Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, lildeesbg  +, writes (10 September 2005):
 First things first, this is your life and you need to be happy. If you fell out of love with him, then you need to move on. Now here comes the tricky part, obviously he loves you. But here are my questions. Has he ever said he would kill himself if you left him? Or when things go bad in his life is he quick to say I wish I was dead? If he is showing signs of that nature, you need to tell your parents or guardian and his guardians to. Sit them down or call them up when he isnt around and explain the situation. Tell them their son is nice guy but you need a break from the relationship and the reason your letting them know is because he seems to be overly obessed and you think he might be suicidal. Give them examples if need be. Tell them you are looking out for him and for them as well. Hopefully, they will help you and their son and be supportive.
As for the actual break up. I think it is best to skip the part that you dont love him anymore. I would tell him that you were in a relationship for a long time and that you need to be you for a while.
In all know that whatever happens it is not your fault. You did all you can and this is your life you have to be happy.
Dee =)
A
reader, pops +, writes (10 September 2005):
If your bf is suicidal, tell his family, and the police, and try to find someone to counsel him. But, by all means, leave him and stay away from him. Yes, you will feel badly if he kills himself, but he can do that any time and you can't do anything to stop it. The longer you stay with him, the more your own mental well being is going to be adversely affected. My first wife threatened suicide for years, and refuse help. I divorced her when counselors told me I was actually feeding her psychosis by staying with her, and that she would never face her problems and get help. Two years later, she committed suicide. During the day, when I was at work, when there was no way I could possibly have stopped it. I felt terrible, for her and for myself. I felt impotent, and angry. I grieved, for her, and for the damage it did to her friends and family, too. I went through the second guessing process that all suicide family survivors experience. It took two years, but I have come to understand that I did the right thing. A friend told me about his wife's suicide, when he took their two children for a short drive to get ice cream. She was supposed to be cleaning up the dinner dishes. Instead, she hanged herself in the garage, so that when they got home, and used the remote door opener, he, and the two young children would see her body hanging in the garage! She had been treated for depression, and had been hospitalized more than a year before, but had been fine, taking her medicine, and seeing a counselor less and less often. He had absolutely no indication she would take her life when she did. It hurt the children the most, you understand, and he was still angry years later when he told me about it. So, get away from your bf now. You can try to find a counselor to talk to him, but like my wife, there is no way to insure he will talk to the counselor, or that any talk with help him.
...............................
|
