A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have this friend who was flirting with me for quite a long time, during which he has two girlfriends in different times and all end up breaking up. Complicated as it is, clearly we are attracted to each other. Recently we went out once and I asked him to hang out again several times but he turned me down by saying he doesn’t like hanging out with people. Then he wrote me a letter and asked me if I have feeling for him whom however, could never be more than a friend, which is fine because I thought if he only wants to have sex with me, then I can’t get involved. So I kinda ignore him when he was around. Then I got a letter from him yesterday and said he has a girlfriend now. He is happy and feel he have found someone with whom he can connect. But he doesn’t want to put distance between us because he likes to talk to me and he actually is interested in me. I feel jealous and sad. Will a man tell a woman that just to keep a friendship? I should be happy for him, right?
View related questions:
flirt, has a girlfriend, jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2011): I'd recommend you maintain some distance; if it is too painful for you you might consider dropping the friendship.
Some friendships are not meant to last forever, plus he's got someone he can connect with with his girlfriend. Look out for your emotional well being and move on.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (8 June 2011):
 I guess as hard as it is you need to accept that he likes you as a person and a friend but doesnt look at you as a potential girlfriend. Please dont take that the wrong way and think there is something wrong with you, its just you are obviously not his type or else maybe he just simply does not want to spoil the friendship he has with you by getting in to a relationship. Try and keep your distance from him for a while and meet new people. Give yourself some distance to get over him and find yourself someone else who can offer you everything you deserve. Good Luck.
...............................
A
male
reader, Drew21  +, writes (8 June 2011):
 I'm sorry to say but i don't think he's into romantically at all, and it doesn't seem like he ever was.
You say clearly you were attracted to each other, but then when you offered him to hang out, he said no.
That, to me, means he probably wasn't attracted to you.
I think he probably realized you were looking for something more, and he tried to put some distance between you hoping you'd get the message.
It sounds like he does value the friendship you had, but i don't think i would ever expect it to move beyond that.
For a lot of people, especially in this day and age, flirting is a way of life. It's something you do for fun, and quite often it means absolutely nothing.
I think that, besides the flirting, it seems like he has done his best not to lead you on in your friendship. I know it probably hurts, cause it seems like you had some real feelings for him.
The feelings of jealousy and sadness make sense. I guess the question is can you stand to keep talking to him as a friend, as he moves on into another relationship?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2011): Hey,I think that you are a victim of a jealousy plot line. When a guy is available you're less interested than if he is unavailable. Its normal. But maybe next time you will take a good thing when you see it instead of waiting for another girl to snap him up. the good ones don't stay on the market long.
...............................
|
