A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been seeing this man for over two months. At first, we would text all day everyday and call and video call often (him texting me first most of the time).Now it's been little over two months - he doesn't text me as often first but always responds to me and tries to make a conversation (most of the time). I don't know if he's dating other people but he says to me he wants good things to happen between us and something special coming from this and that I don't look like the type to 'cheat'. He didn't text me all WEEK and didn't contact until I contacted him and he said he was meant to text me but he got so busy and overwhelmed with exams he couldn't contact me. Which I don't think is true because he posted a lot of stuff on facebook, more than he usually does. I asked him if he wants to remain in contact with me because it seems like he doesn't want to talk to me anymore and he said of course I want to, I was just so bombarded with exams and that he wasn't really speaking to anyone and that I shouldn't take it the wrong way... I thought today he would message me first but he hasn't which im so annoyed about after bringing up whether he wants to talk to me still and that I feel clingy texting him first all the time now! Yesterday, we were texting and the conversation died but he text me again trying to restarting it and we spoke until midnight and he hasn't text me...We have been on 6-7 dates and every one has ended in a kiss and he always says he wants to see me again. He said he wants to meet me again but he yet to make any arrangement. Should I give up on him and move on? Or just text him? Or am I just overreacting? Please help!!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (7 April 2015):
 I'm not sure that asking him "what's going on" is going to be of any help to you at all.
The way it works most of the time is that men start out like a ball of fire... then they crash and burn and women thinking something is wrong..get all clingy and "pick up the slack" when all the guy is doing is pulling back and re-grouping and THINKING...
if you let him THINK without contact from you he will figure it out... IF He's interested he'll be back.
I learned this with my now husband. We were LDR/NSA/FWB (that's an alphabet soup) and I really did NOT care if we ended up together or not. IN fact, we were not going to be able to be anything more than alphabet soup.... I just let it go. Yes I liked him, but I had no need to know "where we stand" as we were t he ultimate in casual....
A week goes by... no contact. I'm feeling a bit shaky... and insulted. TEN DAYS... it took the man TEN days to send me an email.
NOT caring about this made it great.. my response was light and airy and fun... not "WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN" but "great Yeah I'm free let's do it"
less than a year later he moved in with me and in October we will be married 3 years.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2015): Thank you! I'm so glad someone is in the same situation as me! I would love to know how you got on!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2015): Time will always tell. in a mean time DON'T text him anymore.Men like to chase. For most men it's no problem texting or calling a girl. If he doesn't text you first anymore, it means he doesn't want to. OR he is playing a game. So, he made yo like him, he mows it already and now he is waiting to see how fast you will give up and may be have sex with him. I have been in these situations so many times and my experience tells me that if a guy doesn't initiate contact, he is a lost case. There is nothing wrong with a girl contacting a guy, but at initial stages it's better if you don't. for example, I am In a similar situation now. I met this cute guys about 3 weeks ago. He texted me non stop, we met once only because I was travelling. We kissed, and I really liked him. We actually had a great time:we talked non stop, laughed, and seemed like we had a lot in common. So that was Thursday. He asked me what I was doing Friday, I said, I don't know yet. So, he didnt call me Friday, he ony texted me on Saturday at 6 pm. My phone died, so I answered only at 11 pm when I got home and charged it. He didnt answer, and I saw he saw my message at 3 in a mor ing. I was absolutely sure that he was going to make a date with me today. I took a shower, had my hair done. No sign of him. He never answered my text, nothing. Well, I don't know, may be he met someone yesterday, who knows, but in any case I am not going to text him. Because I know it's . If he wants o see me he will find me.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2015): OP here. I've arranged to meet him, he said he will meet me. I am going to meet him and ask him what's going on. Thanks.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (5 April 2015):
 1. Don't try and carry on a relationship VIA text.
2. Try and stop being the first to initiate, see how long he goes.
3. IT IS OK to ask him if he is dating other people or just you. I think after 6-7 dated he should have an idea whether he WANTS to just date you, or still "shop" around. And if he STILL wants to shop around, I'd walk away. Because then YOU aren't IT for him.
4. if he is VERY busy with exams and school, does he really HAVE time to date?
TALK to him.
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