A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My storyy starts with my boyfriend who never seems to care about w,e i do … Ive told him thousands of times that i am extremely jealous and tht im too afraid of loosing him.. He always said tht he trusted me and that he doesnt really mind anything, he even told me that he would forgive me if i cheated on him . I always though that he didnt care about me at all…HOwever when I went to a house party,,, i got completely wasted and had to share a bed with my bestfriend because there was not enough space and there were two other guys trying to haave “some good memory that i wouldnt regret” with me (note: he said he trusted me and him and tht he wouldnt mind if i had to sleep besides a friend.. He also knew that one of the guys there liked me, yet he didnt go to the party). NOTHING HAPPENED!Trying to avoid rumors and assuming tht all that he said before was true,I told himm myself tht i had to share a bed with him and… He got extremely pissed now he says i can go and find many ppl to sleep with tht i dont need him for tht and that he doesnt want to be the guy tht lets his gf sleep with some other guy. Out of the bluee he started treating me as if i was a whore… saying tht i go sleep with random ppl…And that he cant believe wt i did, he said so much stuff that hurt me so badly I honestly think that he over did it what do you think?Oh, He said i hurt his feelings deeply and that no1 had done that in the past 5 years or so therefore he doesn’t know wt is going to happen between us… Im still young but i care deply about himI really, reallly cant move on without him there is so much going on in my life right now my parents gettign divorce my grandma dying, my school grades getting worse… so much stuff tht i kept relying on him … feeling tht if i was next to him everythign was ok…Please help me to make this alright ive already explained and apologized as much as i could but he seems to have a completeky different picture of what happend. He is acting as a completely different person right now and idk what to do… I think he wants to end our relationship no matter how many times i tell him tht i need him, tht i didnt mean to hurt him. He doesnt act like himself Help me please …
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male
reader, rcn  +, writes (2 June 2009):
 So, he says it's okay and you do it? That's not okay. Apparently he cares about you, that's why he got upset. On the other end, it seems as if he may not be being honest with his dealings, therefore setting you up for the blame, instead accepting blame himself. This too is wrong on his end.
Fear could be another factor in his behavior. We know what sometimes happens when drunk girls believe their safe sleeping next to drunk boys. Be proud that it did not happen. On the same lines, we know how alcohol lowers resistance to such activity as well.
What needs to happen is, when partying, don't drink so you can make it home, or have someone who is not drinking take you home. It's not saying something you don't want to happen would, it's lowering the risk of.
What would be good to find out is, why does he seem to care at the same time that it seems he's pushing you away? Also, I recommend you seek counseling. You need to sort out all these things that are going on, so you can bring your grades back up and finish school. We'll always have trials to overcome, but your schooling is determining your direction long term of who you will become and what you'll be doing. So you might as well be successful and have obstacles than the opposite of.
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