A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Ok this is an interesting problem if you are able to tackle it or give me an idea. It might be long but its worth it. I will thank you much if you can give me a clue to anything. Well, There is this shy guy I know whom I went to high school with. I just finished my first year of college and he just graduated. He is very shy and I have had a huge crush on him for the past few years, but I have had no way to conveniently talk to him without being awkward. When I was still in high school he would visit me at my work every weekend when we worked - but would not say a word. I'm pretty sure he just wanted a sandwich. I would try to chat him up a bit and he would mumble etc. This girl I knew talked to him ( without me knowing till after the fact )and spilled the beans all over about me liking him- hinting obnoxiously and almost pestering him to return the "liking". Since then I have not seen or talked to him until recently( a year later). I talked to him a few times through im(online) and we would talk for a nice sized convo. He told me he was getting a job( When I come home on the weekends my bus gets dropped off right in front of where he works). The thing is.. I dont know if this is the job or just the memory of me- but he hasn't been online at all anymore. I really want to make contact with him( I am not comfortable asking for a date, I want to be friends with him first) But it is so easy for me to just go into his work( where all his friends work) and where he would most likely mumble or shy away. I also have no girlfriends to go in there with.( its a clothing store) and I would have to build up a lot of fake confidence( although I like my appearance and this boy has smiled at me many times. ) We have had several awkward moments before due to him knowing I liked him. But he never reacted too negatively. I've always looked into it too much. But what would be the best way to manuever this situation. How can I talk to him some more without going into this clothing shop all the time? Would he think wrongly of me ( since that one girl blabbed immaturely to him?)? I am an intelligent college girl who has had some experience( and I am also familiar with his ex girlfriend). I know this kid and I have a lot in common- ie we don't want kids, don't drink, like the same music, our parents have the same kind of jobs.. etc etc.. But what is the best way to just... get to talk to him? I have tried to see if he is online but no luck the last month. What can you take from these signals? I have never been negative or like obvious around him. I am quite humble, and I try to prevent my own shyness( because he is too.) I also resemble his first ( ex) girlfriend a little as well. I am struggling with this idea( we are also attending the same college in another year when I transfer) Any advice at all- even a few words or some insight is quite welcome!!! Thanks again
View related questions:
confidence, crush, ex girlfriend, his ex, immature, shy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, byteback +, writes (18 June 2006):
 the way i see it, if he knows u like him, you've nothing left to lose. so why wait. u might aswell bite the bullet and ask him out, he already knows you like him so he's either waiting for u to ask him out or worried what his mates might say. u may be embarressed, but rather knowing and ebarresed than forever wondering, eh?
A
female
reader, hannieseds  +, writes (16 June 2006):
 Hey there,
This guy must mean a lot to you huh, since you are so cut up about him not being online and wanting to get to know him so bad. If you feel this strongly, then don't give up because there is obviously something very strong that keeps you wanting to talk to him!
I commend you highly for not coming on too strong and for not wanting to put any pressure on him about a relationship - you are quite happy just being friends and see where that leads - good on you!!
Okay so how can you talk to him without having to keep going into his work and coming on too strong. This could take a bit of creative thinking! Does he have a car which he drives to work? You could try leaving a sweet note under his wind-screen wipers for him to get when he finishes work - something along the lines of perhaps meeting you online at a certain time because you miss chatting with him - nothing too strong, just friendly, and see if he does come online. You could take it from there and ask him to meet up for a coffee or find something you both have in common like watching a certain sport, or even checking out the local music store for new cds together!
He is probably busy, that's why he hasn't been online. Don't read anything bad into it because you should ALWAYS think the best before the worst until you know otherwise!
What happened after your girlfriend told him you liked him? Did he back off from talking to you then?
Or...actually.....I don't know how brave you are or how far you want to go...but what about even 'grabbing' him outside his work when he finishes? You could stay at a distance and see if he comes out alone (if he comes out with friends maybe don't go up to him since that is what brings on his shyness) you could casually walk on by and 'bump' into him and say, fancy meeting you here! That way he can't avoid the situation and you can see how he reacts to seeing you and take it from there! That is something I would do if I really wanted to get to know a guy and I have seen him acknowledge me with smiles in the past - not sure if that's too bold for you or not tho...
xxxx
...............................
|
