A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i have a dilemma! i came back home for easter and met the most amzing guy i have ever come across!! hes gorgeous, funny, kind, bought me wild flowers, took me for a picnic on the hills to watch the sunset.he just seems a bit too good to be true!!! when his phone rings, he doesnt answer it in front of me which makes me think he might have a girlfiend?? he said he doesnt answer the phone because its rude! im really insecure about things like that so i asked him to prove it to me, but he said 'i shouldnt have to prove it, you should trust me!and went home!im really insecure and get really paranoid about things like that, but do u think i was overreacting or he was hiding something? thanku 4 ur time :o)
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2007): Sorry...correction to my posting. In my statement that read,
"you can base a relationship this short-term... on your fears and paranoias."
It should have really said,
"you can't base a relationship this short-term... on your fears and paranoias."
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2007): Pete is so right...great answer from him! Sweety, it's been just over 2 weeks, since you have been dating this fellow and you can base a relationship this short-term... on your fears and paranoias. Yes, there is a big possibility he is just being polite but let's think about this. He probably had a dating 'life' before you and he likely knows other females. Perhaps, some interested female he knew prior to meeting you, is calling to simply say hi. That doesn't mean she is his gf and relaize, he can't control who calls him! Perhaps, he 's feeling that he shouldn't answer the phone to save him and you an embarrassing moment, awkward moment. If he has been able to romance you on a steady basis since meeting you, there is a chance, there is no-other romantic interest, in his life. nother gf would be taking his time away from you, wouldn't she? Maybe gauge his behavior on that. I wouldn't say another word about this to him. It will make you look needy and insecure...a huge turn off to many men. All you can do right now, is take his answer at face value. Give this new relationship to take root and grow...trust will build over time..you just have to both give it a chance. Good luck, hun and remember, don't jump to conclusions here. Stay calm, positive, happy and just take this one step at a time.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2007): I agree with "dr pete" youre lucky ur man dont answer his phone wen hes with you. That shows alot of respect towards your realitionship with you. Ive dated guys before who have answered calls when thier with me and its not nice. That will drive you crazy even more cuz u only hear one side of the conversation. I dont think its a bad ting to ask him to prove that hes loyal. Ive asked my man that before and hes bent over backwards to prove it to me. If theres nothing to hide then why would he mind it? His attention should be purely on you when you are out together.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2007): Based on everything you've said, I wouldn't say there was anything suspicious about your boyfriend whatsoever. Turning around and telling him to "prove" that he likes you is a big passion killer and turn off for a guy - and like he says, he shouldn't have to. He proves his feeling for you every day in the way he behaves around you and treats you.
I don't think there is anything in him not answering his phone when you're around. I've 90% ignored my phone when I've been with someone for exactly the same reason as your boyfriend says; it can be rude.
I do think you're over-reacting and you should accept that perhaps this guy is the real thing? Stop with the paranoia or you'll spoil an otherwise great relationship.
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