A
female
age
30-35,
*uraiva
writes:This could end up as a long explanation but i want to try and include all the background details to make it clear..I am currently in a long distance relationship that has hit a rock, and i am unsure how to continue, if atall. What complicates it more is the relationship directly previous to this one.The previous relationship ended after my partner killed himself, he had had a divorce, and had two kids left with his ex wife. I am still having difficulty after losing him.It connects to my current relationship because the new partner, was a very good friend of the last. Origionally I hated my current partner, We never got along until the last passed away, and we became very close.However, Yesterday i was doing some snooping around just out of curiosity, and found out that Both men had been lying about their occupation. I of course confronted my current partner about this and he explained that he had worked in that sector for a while but had to leave because of PTSD and was emabbarassed to say so, So carried on the persona. During this confrontation..He told me that he was also divorced, and has a 10 year old daughter. Neither of which he had ever mentioned.The other factor playing in here, is health. My partner has been disagnosed with liver cancer, and im in the early stages of renal failure. I care for him very much, And i know it would devastate both of us to end the relationship. But im also not sure if it should carry on, or how we could carry on after this.Im desperate for advice, My head feels like its spinning and i cant think right.thankshuraiva.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (15 July 2009):
 I'm sorry to hear about both of your medical conditions. This in its self can be traumatic on both of you. Did you ever think that maybe your reason for meeting is not to be in a romantic relationship, but to lend support to the other while going through these trying times?
Think about it, at your age, two people meeting who are both going through major medical issues.
PTSD, can cause some hidden issues to surface. Part of this is because of the level of pain those with this disorder live with. Trauma begins to cause the one diagnosed to over analyze themselves. Such as, "I'm a bad person", "I hate who I am", "Why would anyone take the time with me." etc. So, when living with those feelings, they feel as if others will judge them in the same manner. Therefore, it's difficult for them to see anyone accepting them totally for who they are.
I hope this helps you in your decision making. I don't directly tell people what they should do, only give information to help better make a decision. I'll keep both of you in our prayers with what you're going through.
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