| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: Im in a real fix. I have a 5 month old baby, and the dad has left me and moved back to his ex girlfriends house. When the baby was born we got on well, (although we never lived together - he said he was happy sharing a flat with a friend) but he stayed away too often "drinking with mates" or "work trips" and as he admitted cheating previously this got too much for me and I told him to sort it out or end our relationship. In the end I told him I didnt want to see him anymore if he refused to change and make me feel secure, and I told him he should see a solicitor about contact with the child. He moved back in with his ex immediately, and she seems to have accepted his being a dad. He tells me he is just staying with her and not sleeping with her, and that he is only staying with her so he can appear to have a stable address when he goes to court for a Contact order. Because he has done this ive told him I don't want to see him at all while he is with her, and he has not been invited to my house to see the baby. He sent me lots of nasty emails saying I was a bad mother for not letting him round to see the baby, and i reacted by replying with equally nasty emails saying well he should have sorted himself out an made me feel secure in our relationship.The problem is I just want him back. The baby needs a proper dad and I wanted us to be a proper family. He says he cant forgive me for keeping him away while he is living with his ex and he is missing the baby very much, and I say "Well, i still love you" (which i do) "but i cant bear seeing you knowing yr with her". Its such a mess. Has anyone got any ideas how we can sort this out??? I really want him back, and I wish we could turn the clock back and for him to have made me feel secure when i asked him to, before we got into such a dreadful state. To make it worse, i dont know his ex but she is very beautiful and bubbly, and he says I am dull by comparison... :(
View related questions:
ex girlfriend, his ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (22 January 2007):
 First of all you're loving a man who treated you and continues to treat you very badly. Why is your self esteem so low that you feel it's ok for him to treat you like that? However, despite the fact that things are bad between you, you've given no indication that he might be a mad father. You're hurting your baby by denying him access to it. It might make you feel good to make him feel bad but if you think that the way you're acting is also hurting your baby I think you'll see it deserves to get to know its father (Sorry, you didn't specify if it was a boy or girl) It's so unfair to use your baby as part of a power struggle between you. He;s not coming back to you, I can't imagine why you would even want him back but you can't stop him from seeing his child. It'll backfire on you if you do.
CD
A
female
reader, frizzylizzy  +, writes (22 January 2007):
 Your priority here is your child and by the sound of it your well out of that relationship.. This guy doesn't sound like someone who is good to be around you or your child. If I were you I'd be counting my blessings that he has left your life and start a fresh new one with your baby. Your baby doesnt need someone like that around, you can give him/her all the love they need...Stay stong and you will get through this
...............................
|
