A
female
age
41-50,
*lumm1
writes:I have been with my sig other for almost 2 year, but he still keeps in contact with his ex girlfried. I am okay with ex's being friends, bit this person is a bit of a bunny boiler. e.g. she sends "i love you" messages to him via text (she is a lot younger than him and a bit immature) and he meets her secretly. I told him that I trust he is not cheating, but to please let me know when they meet, yet he never does. She cheated on him and she is really not all that great of a package in the looks and trust dept. But there must be something there for him to overlook the cheating. Should I be worried?? Well..I am worried! And very disappointed in him as he is not discouraging it. Am I being irrational? He tells me that I am..then again he tells me that she is "psycho" too, yet he still stays in contact. I feel that this is keeping us from having the perfect relationship. What should I do??
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (17 October 2009):
Hell yes be worried. He meets her secretly, she sends I love you texts and such, even though she's 'psycho'. I'd say that this relationship is going to fall through. Ditch this guy now, before it's too late and you get really hurt, and find someone who will actually want to be with you.
A
male
reader, Red Green 0289 +, writes (17 October 2009):
1. He keeps in contact with his ex girlfried2. She sends "i love you" messages3. He meets her secretly4. (I've asked) him to let me know when they meet, yet he never does.Ok, Yes, you have reason to be worried. If she's throwing sex at him and he's fallen for it you should be worried.If he's sleeping with her, he gets the sex, and doesn't get hurt by her being unfaithful, because he's not trusting her to do anything EXCEPT not tell you...This is NOT healthy relationship building activity- you have to make a decision, live with this kind of crap for 30 more years, "invest" (not a good term, throw away may be better) several more years with this guy, or end this 'relationship' and find someone who you can build a life with.It doesn't sound like making your needs be known has gotten you anywhere in the past, he seems to have put his needs (for WHAT you're not sure.... uh, hello?) well ahead of yours.If this woman was a freind, and his intent wasn't sexual, he'd have worked her into your relationship and not his... my wife and I have freinds that we interact with together- NONE of them send me 'I love you' messages, and I sure don't meet any of them behind my wifes back...
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