A
female
age
30-35,
*clipsed Love
writes:I am in love with my best friend of 5+ years. I don't mean that idiotic "isn't he just so amazing and cute" kind of love that takes a few months to get over, i mean love as in...I love his faults, i love the way he always speaks his mind, I love the way he curls up next to me when I play with his hair. I love the fact that everytime we've had a disagreement and i end up feeling really guilty later. He always comforts me and tells me that everything's ok, I feel so comfortable around him that I literally forget we're not together and have almost slipped up numerous times. For three years I've ached seeing him with all these other women...not only have my feelings not died down...they've grown stronger. Now to my problem...I can't tell him, or at least I feel I can't. The thought of doing anything to harm our friendship absolutely breaks my heart. He means the world to me and he's on multiple occasions told me that my friend and I are family to him. He gives off the vibe that I'm like his little sister or something along those lines. Not only is it that I don't feel like I'm good enough to even think i have a chance with him. I'm terrified that if I say anything it'll change the close friendship we have. Honestly he's nothing like other guys I know. He's affectionate, sweet, funny...the list goes on, but I'm 99% sure he feels nothing for me the way i feel for him. What do I do? How do I either get rid of these feelings or let him know that I think of him as my best friend and my greatest companion?
View related questions:
best friend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Eclipsed Love +, writes (11 June 2012):
Eclipsed Love is verified as being by the original poster of the question The thing is.....we mostly just talk over the phone or facebook our something since we love 2 or so hours away...he's heard me talk about other guys.....i can easily serial date....my problem is, in the end I dump them because they aren't him....trust me I've tried everything short of never speaking to him again...and I will never ever do that.
A
female
reader, Justinara  +, writes (11 June 2012):
If you are 99% percent sure he is not into you than you know he is not into you.
You do not want this friendship to end but it will eventually because you are not being honest with him.
Take some out from him, readjust your life, maybe spend less time with him and meet other men. When you start living your own life he would know if he has feelings for you. He is probably so used to seeing you with no other guy.
You got to tell him how you feel but before that you need to think about this in place of nature, near the ocean, lake, woods, you will be surprised how clear minded you feel after a long walk through the woods, park, near lake etc.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2012): Well you could try telling him how you feel but also say that you would hate to lose his friendship if he didn't feel the same and that things could continue as they are. It's hard to do that I know, when you want something else. But at least you would know where you were and this may help you.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2012): I have been in a similar situation. Unrequited love blows... And I regret saying something all the time. Because it turned out he liked me too but we never had the chance to be anything more because we were afraid of what the other person might say or think.
Honestly, if you have known him for that many years I don't think your friendship would end suddenly just because you opened up to him. If he is this great guy you say he is, it won't be awkward for you two.
My best advice to you is just go for it! Do it for all those people who are in love but miss out on every chance due to fear.
You miss every shot you don't take.
You go girl! Let us know how it goes.
...............................
|
