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female
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anonymous
writes:I'm really upset because my best friend is. He is really depressed and wants to die. he wont tell me the reasons, but i assume its relationship problems. I love him loads in everyway possible. If he dies I dont even want to think what id do. He means everything to me. The bestest friend I could of asked for and i dont want him to take his own life. He wont tell me whats wrong with him but I feel theres nothing I can do. He will probably get annoyed if i speak to him about it, but he feels quite strongly about it all, and i'm getting upset thinking about it because he is everything to me. Please help.
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male
reader, nanaeric  +, writes (20 November 2008):
hi, aim Eric and this is my verw of it,I know just how you feel. I had a friend exactly like this. I wanted to help, but I didn't know what to do because he wouldn't get any help. I realized he was getting worse, so I left him alone to try to find his own way to healing and his own way to cope.by eric
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male
reader, yoyoyodudeshi  +, writes (9 September 2008):
dont bother me, when my freinds tried forcing me not to, it only made things worse. life really sucks, and hopefuly he wont kill himself, but interfering makes thing WORSE!
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female
reader, lalasoo  +, writes (26 August 2008):
let adults know
he needs psychiatry
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2008): All great advice for you...below. I just have a few comments to add. Plainly your friend has some deep emotional problems. You are right to be worried. When someone even alludes to suicide, one must take that seriously. Some people threaten suicide as a cry for attention, some do it as a form of emotional blackmail and others do it because they are really and genuinely depressed. Telling you he is going to do it, and you don't know when, is a desperate cry for help from him. The thing is...in most cases when people really, really want to die, they do it without telling anyone.
So, as a good friend to him, who now knows this information, you have a moral obligation to make sure he is cared for, in any way you can. He is very emotionally ill, and his parents and family need to be informed of this situation as soon as possible. They will need to intervene with him and get him into some much needed therapy and counseling. But you need to act fast.
He may be angry at you, he may even disconnect from you as a friend, but you need to be strong because sometimes being a really good, friend to someone in need, is . to put the friendship at risk, when you know something is wrong with him. The family needs to be informed. Phone them.
I can guaruntee that when he has gotten the help he needs and can think with more rational and clarity, he will thank you for saving his life. It may not come right away but it will come, someday. Good luck dear and take care of your friend.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2008): I know just how you feel. I had a friend exactly like this. I wanted to help, but I didn't know what to do because he wouldn't get any help. I realised he was getting worse, so I left him alone to try to find his own way to healing and his own way to cope. This is what I did, but it's not a very good way for sorting this out. I didn't know what to do, but I watch him from afar and he looks a little bit happier every time I make contact with him... My stituation was different, I'm not very well myself and I was making things worse. I miss my friend as well and I think of him every day...
The best thing to do is to be a friend. Make sure he knows you love him, and no matter what, day or night you will be there if he feels too bad to cope. Call him, stay around him, and if he dosen't want to talk don't push to much. Just show him by being there that you care and you want to help...
Here are some links for you... The first is information, the other links are for help in the UK for both you and for him...
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/suicide_prevention.htm
http://www.papyrus.org.uk/index.html
If your friend is a child, try and convince him to call Childline... 0800 1111. www.childline.org.uk
Samaritans.. http://www.samaritans.org/ 08457 90 90 90
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female
reader, bubbloo24  +, writes (26 August 2008):
 Gecko has give you very good advice.
I do also suggest that you talk to him and maybe try to get a bit more information out of him as to why he's depressed. Obviously don't force him, just comfort him and maybe he'll open up to you a bit more. Tell him that you care about him loads and that you don't like seeing him so upset and not being able to do anything about it and then tell him that maybe if he talked to someone about it, he'd feel better.
Because he is bottling things up, he's not letting out his emotions. I've been in his position before. I remember going in to my teacher who was also my councellor telling him how much I wanted to die a few years ago but after talkin to my teacher, I'm completely the opposite. He was an incredibly inspirational man and I feel sure that there are other people out there who will want to and hopefully will succeed in helping him get his life back on track.
I understand your distress and I'm very glad to hear that this guy has a friend like you to be there for him.
As Gecko says - there are plenty of helplines that can help you to get the help he needs.
Take care xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2008): I was exactly the same as him. I didn't want to share why I was even depressed let alone suicidual. Still the same now really..
Would you rather he gets annoyed now or never has the chance to be annoyed?! He needs professional help. I never believed in it. But it might give him that belief that there is good out there. That he has a chance...
Teenagers, and people are depressed for a number of reasons. You could try and work out what it is so you can get a clearer angle of what hes out. There are plenty of help lines (I don't know them off by heart). You could contact Samaritans and ask whats the best thing for you to do, and there is the 'there 4 me' website which can provide you with more information about whats the best thing for him.
You could try and convince him to at least have a go.
Just throw everything at him and give him a kick up the arse to seek help. It can't go on. If he comes out of it then it'll affect him for the rest of his life.
You sound like your pretty close. Surely you can try and have a heart to heart with him - face to face. Tell him its really bothering you, that he doesn't need to tell you what it is but you don't want him to do anything drastic.
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female
reader, :):):) +, writes (26 August 2008):
Well, you maybe dont realise but you being there for him is already helping him.
Make sure he knows that you care about him and support him as you have been doing. For some people its hard to talk about their emotions so let him know he can talk to you if he wants to.
Make plans for the both of you, days out etc and he'll know how much you enjoy his company and should start to feel a little better.
If you feel his problems may be beyond you're help, let his parents know. They'll be grateful you told them and they can keep an eye out on him.
Well done for being a great friend to him, when he comes out of this dark period he will be thankful to you xxx
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