A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my bf for 2 years. Recently we have been having problems over his lack of interest in me and the relationship. He has retaliated by not coming home until 8 or 9 every night and on weekends alot later than that, refusing to tell me where he is. He says and does things deliberately to hurt me and no matter what I do this continues to get worse. He came home last night being nasty again and told me he'd cheated on me. I don't know how true this is or whether its another thing to hurt me. He never invites me anywhere and of course I doubt that he loves me but he won't leave even when he says he's going to. I love him with all my heart and have given him every opportunity to change. If he doesn't love me why won't he leave instead of destroying my heart? Any advice as to what to do or how to read his actions?
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male
reader, Sandman  +, writes (4 November 2007):
 I think the bigger question is why would you ALLOW him to destroy your heart?
You are in effect giving him the power by which to destroy your heart and walk all over you. You have to believe that the love you have to give is more precious and more deserving of a man who will treat your love with respect and admiration. This guy obviously doesn't respect you if he comes home and tells you that he cheated on you. Even if he didn't, you don't deserve to have your feelings dragged through the mud like that. He's probably only doing it to hurt you like you said - but you need to decide that he won't have the power to hurt you anymore and leave HIM. Stop giving him opportunities to change and find you a man that will love you unconditionally. You doubt that he loves you - so why stay? Leave him and get a man that will want nothing more than to come home early just to be with YOU! These men are out there, be you need to be patient until the right one comes along. THIS guy ain't the right one by a looooooong shot.
Hope this helps.
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