| A ,
*imberenee82
writes: My fiance and I have been together for two years. At first it was great.. now he scares me. He threatens to hit me and leave me, he makes me feel like I don't do anything right and he has thrown we around a few times. I think I need to leave and kind of want to but I bought a house that he helps me pay for and I can't afford all my bills on my own. I am afraid it is almost worth feeling insecure and scared with him than to be without him and maybe even on the streets. Please help!
View related questions:
fiance, insecure Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2005): Post an ad for Roommate Wanted. Screen Candidates at a local coffee shop. Do not tell your man you are up to this until you kindly ask him to leave. You can even pack his things for him and gently set them outside. A Good site to list an ad is Craigslist.org. Many of my friends have found decent, stable roommates through this process. Above all. Ask him to move out. Be sure someone is either there when you do it, or waiting close by. Then change your locks. It doesn't mean that the relationship is forever terminated. It only means that you two have significant problems to work on before you ever live together again. These problems can't be worked out while you live enmeshed lives. He's got issues that he needs to address on his own. Keep us all posted on your wellbeing and progress. Be strong, and don't back down. This will be better for you and for the relationship in the end. Good Luck.
A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (11 May 2005):
 I'm sorry, but this is not worth it.Repeat: not worth it!!Forget this is your problem. Instead, pretend you're describing something that's happening to your best friend... She feels scared living in her own home! She has a boyfriend who threatens to hit her and holds her "need" for his income over her head. He makes her feel like she can't do anything right. He throws her around her own house! And she wants to marry him and cement this arrangement FOREVER.That's horrible.Hon, go to the bank. Re-finance your house at a lower repayment, or advertise for a flatmate to rent a bedroom. Have a brother or sister become a part-owner. There are more options than you think!Then throw your fiance OUT, OUT, OUT in the street. Lob his personal belongings out the window and pray that they land on a pile of doggie-do. This man is a beast... and, sadly, I can promise you that his behaviour and violence will escalate in time. He's an abuser of the first water and he gets off on scaring you. Abusers tend to get worse over time and many eventually hurt their partners very seriously. You don't want that.In the end it's going to come down to either finding an alternative way to finance your house, or very possibly ending up on life-support in hospital. Or worse.Not worth it.Throw him out, soon. Please. Your local police will help if necessary, so don't be afraid to call on them.
...............................
|
