A
female
age
30-35,
*adeyyy
writes:Well heres the thing, iv been with my boyfriend for a year now and he always seems to make me feel low and tells me that my friends don't like me. We split up a few weeks ago becuase he was finding problems about my personality and a week later he was with another girl. I told him i still wanted to be with him and we got back together but he keeps saying i need to prove myself when it is the other way around. I told him that it was not going to work because he seemed too insecure about our relationship becuase he was telling everyone that i look down on them and that im a generally nasty person. Do i need to change? becuase i never knew the problems were that bad. Today he started saying that i was just with him to keep him away from the other girl and he also said that i was insecure. He embarrassed me in class at college and started an argument in my face and later went on to say i was messed up in my head and thats why all my friends hated me, but its not the first time he has said it. Im so upset becuase i feel he has taken away all the confidence i have but i feel that if i let him go i won't meet another guy becuase i aint the prettiest girl. All my friends seem to take his side and i feel that if i do treat people the way he says i do i need to change. Have you got any advice on how i ould change the way i am?Jade x
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Hello world  +, writes (25 September 2008):
 Hey babe,
NO!! never change who you are, if some guy thinks your a bad person the their not for you.
someone is out there and they'll love you for you.
never change who you are for anyone its so not worth it
as for your "friends" if they cared they would tell him to stop treating you like dirt no one in the world diserves to be treated like that as long as your happy with who you are it shouildn't matter. So i would say move on you dont need people telling you your a ad person and arn't pretty.
Leave his A**!!!!
Hope i helped.
XOXO
A
female
reader, Hopeful Romantic  +, writes (24 September 2008):
 I have a lot of questions - I am not sure how he thinks you treat others - what does he say about this?
I do not think that you need to change yourself. If you are rude to others, then just cut it out. Be nice... extra sweet. Smile when you meet others, try to notice the good in them - try to be positive - it is the secret.
I think that you need to go ahead and let him go. You will find another - you do not need someone that is going to talk down to you or you will live life time of depression. So... get rid of him & be nice to people.
I do not know what you look like, if you think you are not pretty... why? Get a Sedu hair straitener w/ ceramic plates that have ions, straiten your hair - get some nice make-up that compliments your skin, wear it & make sure you're wearing stylish clothes w/ matching shoes - this will help you feel confident which shows & makes guys notice you.
Good luck, let me know if you have any other questions. :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2008): if u love your boyfriend you should take care of your behavior he can not change you but he is trying to be honest with you so that don t mean that you loose confidence in yourself you can not change your personality or either act so try step by step to be nice to your friends your boyfriend should respect you and help you solving your problems instead of embarrassing you so good luck
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