A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was at the beach yesterday with my boyfriend and a couple of his friends were there to meet me for the first time and hang out with us. I was in a 2 piece suit but you could still see a bit of skin. I was devastated when I over heard his friend make a nasty comment to my boyfriend about my stomach. He said something like ''that stomach though...is she a mother of 3 or something I thought you didn't date women with kids" he was doing it in a joking way and didn't think I heard him but I did. I found it very cruel, even if it was a joke. On top of it I don't think my boyfriend said anything to him. He did apologize to me in the car ride home though. I ended up crying at home that night and my boyfriend walked in on me. I'm not one to cry. I was just so humiliated. I do not have children but I was over weight when I was younger and my belly is still kind of big and has some noticeable stretch marks. Still, I don't know why he would make such a mean comment. Should I say something to my boyfriends friend or just let it go?
View related questions:
stretch marks Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (27 August 2015):
 The key to your submittal is: "....make a nasty comment to my boyfriend...." Once he heard such a comment, your "B/F" should have either: 1. wound up and clobbered the miscreant in the mouth...., or, 2. said to the creep: "Listen, Asshole, she's MY girlfriend, and I'm quite content with how she looks... and if YOU (asshole!) ever make such a comment, again in the future, you may expect me to punch you in the nose.... Case closed."
That's how these things go when a lady dates a real gentleman...
Good luck....
A
female
reader, Slippers  +, writes (27 August 2015):
I would say to him . I love me .. I love my body .. I'm beautiful .. your ugly inside and out, and if I wanted I could get this fixed .. but guess what .. you'd still be ugly .
Your bf needs to tell his friend to shut his hole up .. tell him don't apologise next time set him straight or I set you free .. your choice and honey it be your loss.
Take care sweetie .. chin up .. and we're here .
...............................
A
female
reader, femmenoir  +, writes (27 August 2015):
 Hi,this is just not on, is it?Unfortunately, this is the type of world in which we live, but this doesn't make it ok, nor acceptable, to say whatever we want about whomever.My dad always tells me, you need thick skin to survive in this world and you know what? He is right!Don't allow this 'idiot' to affect how you look at yourself, or even how you think about yourself.Whilst i think your bf loves you, otherwise he wouldn't be with you, he still could have said something to his friend and immediately.Part of truly loving somebody, is by standing up for them as the act is occurring, whatever that act ought be.He apologised in the aftermath, however, he didn't actually stand up for you in the presence of his friend, as he made those rude remarks regarding your stomach.You should be sharing with your bf, in a gentle and calm manner, how you truly feel regarding this entire matter.See what his reply is.He apologised to you in the car, on the way home, but this may not be enough to 'cut it' with you and rightly so.On the other hand, please do cut your boyfriend some slack, as he at least apologised to you.The 'real' person who should be apologising to you is his friend and shame on him, he knows not any better.What is most important though, isn't even how that guy looks at you, or even how your bf looks at you, but how YOU look at YOURSELF.Please remain positive and remain true to yourself.I wouldn't give this friend of your bfs the time of day to be honest, but if/when you see him again, mirror his behaviour toward you.You could say in general chit chat, something like,"Some people think they can just say whatever they want about others and some people think other people are deaf, when in fact they're not."When you say it though, make sure he's listening to you, you must grab his attention indirectly.This will be enough to send him a strong msg. He knows what he said about you and he won't readily forget, just as you haven't either, nor can you so easily.After all, you were the recipient, of such rudeness!All the best and let me know how you get on. :-)
...............................
A
male
reader, BazingaToZulus  +, writes (27 August 2015):
 Yes, you should definitely confront him (with your boyfriend present so that he knows what you told him) and tell him calmly but firmly that the comment he made was very hurtful and very childish even as a joke (and it's not funny). You can tell him that "this type of behavior is expected among junior high school kids, their immaturity and lack of compassion due to inexperience and wanting to fit in are partially the cause of it...what's your excuse?"
...............................
|
