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female
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anonymous
writes: my boyfriend loves to hunt and fish. he knows that i don't mind if it is local. i don't like for him to go away for 2 or 3 nights. i sometimes think that he wants to do this more because he knows that i don't really care for this. how do i take the fire out of his wanting to go away to do these things. like i said, i don't mind the local fishing and hunting but i hate the away fishing and hunting. someone told me that as long as i dislike this, he will most certainly insist that he goes. they also told me that if i didn't put up such a fight, then eventually he would not go. it almost is if it becomes a challenge to him to leave town knowing that i am upset. please help. thanks Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2006): You have to accept the fact that this is something that he enjoys doing. My boyfriend loves that, too. But, he has brought me along a couple of times when he goes out of town. That way I am okay when he wants to go alone. Try to find something that you enjoy doing. You don't want to try to take away something from him that makes him happy. That is trying to control him, and you wouldn't want him doing that to you.
A
female
reader, pica +, writes (6 November 2006):
I have a friend whose husband enjoys fishing and he's in a fishing group. They have organised weekends away to various places and she goes to but spends her time doing other things wherever they are. Could you agree on doing this for some of the trips at least - are there other wives/girlfriends you could team up with? That way you'd both enjoy the fishing weekends. Just an idea.
I don't think he won't go if you don't fuss - it's his hobby, he enjoys it. What are your reasons, is it just that you miss him? Do you not have interests of your own to spend time on - it's not good for you to rely on one person for company and a social life. See friends, do something else. Give him the chance to miss you rather than being a nag he wants to escape. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2006): The only solution that I see for you is to learn to like hunting and fishing and go with him.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (6 November 2006):
 Wow, you guys are haveing a real power struggle aren't you!? Why don't you tell him you want to go with him next time. If you don't fish/hunt then bring a really good book and enjoy the fresh air. I'd give it a try anyway.
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