A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband and I got married at 17 and had a child 6 months before we got married, we were very much in love and still are to this day . I filed for divorce two years ago because .. well basically he drank too much and it caused issues. I was a child , had to be right all the time, which most of the time he went along with, but I am stubborna and had to have my way and divorced him. During this time he started dating this other woman to make me jealous. This was two years ago. He fully admits that he doesnt love her , the he still loves me and would do anything to make it work between us again. I think we have both grown up alot .. recognized our faults, and we both realize that we could have worked thigns out in counseling and it was a mistake to divorce.We have been talking... on the phone mostly, and hanging out when we can , just as friends. and plan to do this for a LONG time, before we take anything further. Huge problem: His girlfriend had a baby yesterday. Now , she is very young an emotionally immature, and several months ago , she admitted to both of us during an argument that she had stopped takeing birth control in order to get pregnant , so he couldnt leave her. He fully intends on supporting the child and we have three young kids together , and he says , this new baby is as much his as the others are and he wants to be a dad, but he does plan on leaving his girlfriend, and has told her as much. This is taking a toll on me emotionally.. I was ok until the baby came and now I find myself saying I jsut cant stand the fact that he has done this , and I resent him for it . He ruined everything, and I am sick to my stomach and ashamed for anyone, especially my family, to know what has happened. Its not the childs fault, I know this .. And I dont blame the child Ivethree of my own and would never hold it against the child. But how to deal with all this is overwhelming to me. Any thoughts ? suggestions? The girlfriend HATES me, and I have never said two words to her, and those two were nice words :) , but she was crazy jealous, with good reason , from the beginning, and latched on him like a leech. Im afraid she will use the child against us and cause trouble. I guess Im afraid of alot of things .. .sigh ANy input would be greatly appriciated.
View related questions:
divorce, immature, jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, mischieviousangel916 +, writes (18 March 2010):
Leave him alone. Why make yourself insecure and unhappy. Being with him is doing just that. It is not fair to you. Why would you want to share your man with another woman? Don't take sloppy seconds. Find a man who is going make you number 1.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2010): Not your problem. Your husband created this mess. Let him sort it out. You guys treated divorce like a game and involved a third person in it, who's much younger. Now there is a fourth one, a child. In addition to your children.
Stop playing with lives, at least other people's. From a wife you became the other woman, by choice. Now his gf is the other woman. He cheated on her with you.
What can you do? The gf decides what she wants and what is good for her baby. She'll not live this down because the child is a permanent reminder of being fooled. Its also a tool that she can use to hassle your husband. And she will. You will have years ahead of a very intresting life. Each time you fight and he goes to visit his child with her you'll wonder whether they'll have something going again.
...............................
|
