| A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hi, I have a boyfriend for a few months. Before we got into the relationship, I knew about the fact that he had a crush on another girl for quite some time before he fell in love with me and decided to confess. Even now, he still has feelings for that girl. But he loves me very much and cares alot about me. And I'm really happy with him. He's a really sweet guy who worries for my safety and so on. I was just wondering how come a guy who loves his girlfriend so much, could also have a crush on another girl at the same time.. is this normal? Please help answer this qn. Thanks all!
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male
reader, M Proops  +, writes (22 December 2013):
If he's still thinking about her then it's not a crush,I think he may have fallen in love with her before you met him.It's more difficult to fall out of love with the object of your affection if you've never met in reality but in his mind it'll be what if? what if?Most of us fall in love more than once,you are both still young and your emotions are still very active.He's told you he loves you and i'm assuming you love him,make the most of it.
A
female
reader, Atsweet1  +, writes (21 December 2013):
 He probaly like her more. Its probable he finds her more attractive to. If given a chance he most likely will date her. If you knew he had a crush on her why you with him. You didnt want him with her it seems like your were blocking maybe. Its no need to be worried if he not touching or going to see her. If you look at good looking guys and say he fine and admire his beauty its a part of attraction.
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A
female
reader, eri_sunshine  +, writes (21 December 2013):
The same thing happened to me and my ex-boyfriend. He was in love with me, but had a fantasy-like crush on one of my best friends. It really hurt my self-esteem and our relationship because of that, but it was not a good relationship anyways.
It is a normal thing, but it's fine for you to feel uncomfortable about it and ask him not to be chatting with her until he can think of her as only a friend. It's unfair to you otherwise. If he has this fantasy crush and doesn't intend to do anything about it, then I wouldn't worry much. If he seems like he wants to pursue it, that's bad news.
I'd say give it some time. He'll get over it, and if he doesn't then you deserve someone who's attention is only focused on you.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (21 December 2013):
 Having a crush is NOT love. It's more of a fantasy.
Still doesn't mean it feels nice knowing he has a crush on someone else.
Not sure why he felt he had to tell you if he has no intentions towards her.
Now if she was a famous person I wouldn't worry, but someone who is around at school or work? Yea, that would worry me.
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