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female
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anonymous
writes: I used to work with this guy who is so lovely, sweet, all the things you could ask for in a man. He would do anything for me. Now he has declared that he really wants to be with me and doesn't want anyone else. Part of me wants to be with him, but part of me is worried about what people will think...which sounds daft but I get judged a lot by people and so peoples' opinions matter to me. The thing is, he is 16 years older than me, although unless you knew this you would only think he was 6 years older (he doesnt look his age at all). I'm 18 and he is 34. What should I do? I don't want to hurt him, please help. Thanks. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2006): That is TOTALLY fine. My uncle is now 49 and my aunt whom married him is now 26. They've been married for more than 3 years, and have two children together. They are the typical HK Chinese traditional family where she stays at home, takes care of the kids, cooks and cleans and occasionally take some strolls with my uncle, hooking his arm and talk about different things.
Mind you, not everyone can do nor accept that sort of lifestyle. It's just nice to see things work out, even on a traditional level.
A
male
reader, Big B +, writes (27 June 2006):
 Age is just a number. If you love each other, the difference means nothing.
I am about to be engaged, and currenly living with a 23 year old woman...
I am 46.
On top of the age difference, I am 6'4", and she is 5'2"
So you know that it looks funny walking down the street holding hands. Kinda like father and daughter until we kiss, thats when I get called names like child molester, and cradle robber.(more than once)
We have known each other for almost 3 years, as friends.
We talked, and saw each other alot. I talked her through a bad relationship, and she talked me through mine.
I thought that she was so sweet,and beautiful, and thought she would never have any interest in me.
The night we told each other that we loved each other, she said it first, and said that she had for some time.
I felt the same way,and had loved her for a long time. I was the one doubting that a relationship would work between us. I reccomended that she see men closer to her own age.
So I held the romance at bay for almost 6 months.
I over came the fear of leaving her a widow In 20-30-40? years.
Her parents, and her friends love me to death, and approve of me.
They were all against it at first until they met me.
Its not about the sex. Its about the connection.
We are so much alike its almost scary.
From our comfort clothes (jeans and t shirt)
To the postion we sleep in (identical)
Same likes and dislikes on music, food, drink, literature, even political views. Imagine that.
Its crazy. We didn't realize all this until we got serious,spent some quality time together, and we were both freaked out, and said at the same time, you are what I have been looking for all my life...
Love conquers all.
Its not about finding someone you can live with...
Its about finding someone you can't live without.
Our age difference has done 2 things according to her parents.
Matured her considerably, and taken 20 years off my age.
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A
female
reader, jaxwardle86  +, writes (11 June 2006):
 My husband was 29 when i met him when i was 15 we started dating when i turned 16. Now we have 2 kids and a marriage that works perfectly after all age is nothing but a number and all women are more mature than men lol. Btw we have been together 4 years now and although we have our up and downs ours is the happiest healthiest relationship i know of. However i want you to go into this with your eyes wide open and yes people will make judgement on him and call him all sorts at first stick with it most of time i don't even notice the age gap. good luck xxx
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A
female
reader, hothannah +, writes (11 June 2006):
dont worry what other people think if u want him and only him say yes but think about what the future will bring too u may not want to hurt him but how do u no that he dose not really just want you for sex maybe i am wrong in teling you this but i would personally consider saying no because of the age difference that is like me (13) going out with a 29 year old and dont get me wrong but i would not do it for love i would stick to my own age group!!!!
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