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female
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anonymous
writes: Please give me some advice. I stupidly got involved into an affair 5 mths ago and have fallen deeply in love with this man. We were away on a course together and spent every night/day together for the whole 5 mnths. We get on so well and just connect. Thing is, we are back now and don't want to have an affair I feel to much for him. He loves me dearly and every chance we get we meet. Not sex we just love being together. He said from the start that his son is his life and he would never walk out on him. Although if his wife was to leave he could handle that because it wouldn't be the one abandoning his son. Saying this he has tried to leave her during arguments and she threatens him with his boy. What do I do. Cant even imagine not seeing him, but this sneaking around is making the whole thing seedy which it isn't. I love him so much!
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (7 March 2006):
 It still really suprises me how many women actually believe that old line *I'd leave her if it wasn't for my kids* come on!!
If it was all that bad at home they would leave regardless of the kids, the cat the dog whatever. This is a LINE. This is how an adulterer makes themselves feel better about the betrayal they are inflicting on their family.
If you truely believe you were more than a convenient *ride* then you give him an ultimatum. See how far you get.
Sorry to disallusion you but if he felt that strongly about you he would have left her for you by now, kids or no kids. You are right tho, it is seedy, and are you willing to settle for second best?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2006): Well, either this is a standard line or we are seeing the same man. Actually, I would say WERE seeing. I got out. He told me he could never leave his son, he said his wife held the son over his head constantly and would move far away with him. The fact is he is completely dependent on HER! Do yourself a favor and get out. I can tell you there are not many single nice guys but it is better to be alone with integrity than to compromise the one thing you have going.
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (15 February 2006):
 It is seedy! And you're the sower of the seeds, as well as the guy. You have a lot of nerve feeling sorry for your sorry state of affairs. As I usually say in these situations, you only worry about yourself. Also, if you did go with him, what would happen when you mnet another guy? Would you move on again? And again.........
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A
female
reader, missmeliss0627 +, writes (15 February 2006):
Get a life and your OWN man!!! Believe me he isn't there just for his son. You are wasting your time on a man that wont and should not leave his wife and son. And if he did leave he would only end up doing the same thing to you down the road.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (15 February 2006):
 Well he made it clear from the get go that he wouldn't be the one to walk so you have no choice but to be the other woman. If you want to settle for the small potatoes that's up to you. He may still be sleeping with his wife as well. If you want to have a total relationship you'll have to give him the boot and go look for a single guy. Sorry but that is what happens with married lovers. Make the right choice. Good Luck!
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