A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi...My husband and I have been together for nearly 3 yrs now.. our children are teenagers so we are not 'young chicks' as such.But he looks at women constantly (particularly blonde ladies as they are his preference) when we are out...sometimes i can take it and find it kind of amusing if he hasnt got his glasses on and the woman is an old lady... but usually i am unable to take this kind of behaviour from him.If i mention it he blows his top and a massive argument starts... he says this is the one subject he hates and hates me bringing up... because he does nothing !.. or doesnt realise he is doing this.I just dont know what to do as my self esteem is tumbling and i dont want to go out anywhere with him anymore..yet i love him dearly !Thanks for listening... any advice much appreciated.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (28 September 2008):
My advice is that you should never mention this again. This is a sub concious thing that he cannot control and he is right when he says that he doesn't even notice he's doing it.
He simply has an association that when he looks at a blonde woman, he gets a good feeling.
What you can do to stop it is clip him round the ear when he does it, or pinch him, or pull his hair. When his sub concious associates pain with gawping at blondes then he won't do it.
Don't even explain why you are doing it. Just smack him round the head and then apologise and make a fuss of him.
Negative and positive re-enforcement.
Good Luck!! xx
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