A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I lost my virginity to a boy who I had only known for a couple of months and we wern't even going out at the time. We were both drunk and regret it. He wasn't a virgin and I told him I wasn't a virgin and that I was experienced in other things as well which I'm not. He then asked me out a couple of days later and I said yes. He lives quite far away and it's hard to meet up with him but whenever we do meet up he wants to have sex. I want to as well but I'm scared I will bleed again because the frist time I did it I bled loads and it was embarrassing but he didn't care much. He wants to have phone sex but I'm too embarrassed to. I don't answer his calls and when I don't answer his calls then I feel guilty. Oh and another thing, he's my first boyfriend. My situation is pretty messed up. What do you think I should do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok so what i think im going to do is break up with my boyfriend and just wait until i find someone whos perfect for me, wait ages until i can trust him and if im ready i might have sex with him. thank you for your answers i feel like i have some sense slapped into me now
A
female
reader, CONFUSED????  +, writes (13 October 2008):
That was a dumb thing to do.
first of all you were drunk.
second of all you lost something that you will never get back.
you shouldnt have been ashamed to say that you were a virgin.
all that guy wants is your goods and sex.
if he really liked you instead of wanting to have phone sex he should be trying to get to know you better.
you should try to stop talking to that guy because all he wants is SEX!!
you should try meeting new guys and just because you had sex once make sure that you dont think its ok now.
a girl who has had sex more than once seems like a slut
you should stop talking to that guy and move on
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (13 October 2008):
 You aren't "required" to have sex simply because a guy is asking for it, or has had sex with you in the past.
As a VERY young woman, you have to a LOT more conscious about putting yourself into risky situations. You really are on the young side to be drinking, let alone having sex. Drinking too much and being alone with a guy who will take advantage of your inebriation, IS a choice, albeit not the best one. Even this type of choice IS YOUR CHOICE, but you have chosen to give away the right to enjoy your first sexual encounter, soberly, with a boy that you are in love with. That was your decision. That doesn't mean that you have to continue down this path, OR that he should be asking for sex every time he sees you, treating you like a "booty call". He should not be treating you like a sex toy. He hasn't shown any signs of him being aware of your feelings, and he isn't even considering them. That shows a certain lack of respect for you in general. If you aren't comfortable with these past choices, tell him that you want to slow things back down. If you aren't comfortable with phone sex, you don't have to do this, it isn't a regular requirement of a normal relationship and YOU should be comfortable with whatever relationship you are in, if this is, in fact, a true, mutual relationship.
If I were you, I would let him know that you would like to see him again, BUT - ONLY in order to get to know each other better. If he still pressures you for sex only, you need to make a choice. He may well think that sex comes freely with you and that sex is the only connection that you have together. It sounds like you aren't happy with that, and most girls aren't. If that is the case, you should consider breaking up with him. You are very much in a one sided relationship and he is using you right now. Sorry to be so blunt, but I think that if you have written to us, you want to see the best and worst case scenarios, so that you can make a decision for yourself. Good Luck and take good care of yourself with the decisions that you make for yourself.
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