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anonymous
writes: I met this guy on the internet about 3 weeks ago. aAter about 2 and a half weeks I went to the town he lived in and we set up a time to meet. After we met it seemed like I liked him and he liked me. But when I got home he said "are you going to get all attatched" and stuff. I said "well no, but if we are gonna stay friends I am not gonna develop sexual feelings or attatchments to you". He was OK with it. Then I asked him "do you have a problem with commitment?" He answered "if you were my girlfriend would you be here with me so I could hold you and be with you like I would want to be??" I told him with school and other important things I could not be there and live there.At that he said "that's what I thought" and then he was kinda standoffish. Do you think that if I were to be with him that it would last? I am scared to ask him to be with me if he has trouble with a long distance relationship. But it is only 6 hours away and he is the one I could see myself growing old with and having children with. So here is my question "Is it worth giving it a try?even tho he may not have the same feeling should I ask him to be with me?" Thank you for your timeSTEPHANIE
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2005): gurl, i'M going through the same thing right now, I have a BOYFRIEND, that lives in England and I live in canada, and I also met him on the internet, but my advice to you is dont bother with him, there are plenty of other guys out there that will care for you and will want the best for you. this guy obviously doesnt want whats best for you, so i think that you should just do what he did to you shove him away! hope this helps...
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reader, Your big sis +, writes (10 June 2005):
 No, it's not worth it. He's basically telling you that unless you're moving to his town, he's not considering you. He doesn't believe in long distance relationships. Better to let this guy go, he's showing his true colors and honey, they are not pretty.
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (10 June 2005):
 Stephanie,
If you're still in school, you're way too young to be traipsing off to towns that are six hours away, to meet strange men. Come to think of it, I'm 43 and I'm too young to do that!
I would have to counsel you to STAY AWAY from guys like this. You have no idea who people are when you chat online; you only know who they *claim* to be. Big difference. This guy could have been a prison escapee and as mad as a cut snake. He could have meant you real harm; he could have kidnapped you or god knows what. Didn't you think of that?
As it is, he sounds like a loser with some real confidence issues. He's already trying to manipulate you by getting snooty when you indicated that you had responsibilities in your home town and so wouldn't be willing to move closer to him. What did he expect? You're still in school! Or haven't you told him that?
I think your estimation that you could "grow old" with this guy is a bit premature! You've only talked to him online for 3 weeks and met him in person once. Already he's giving you mixed signals, AND trying to lure you away from your friends and family AND pressure you into staying with him. Frankly, he creeps me out.
In answer to your specific question, No, I don't think it would work. This guy is too far away for a serious, healthy relationship and there are too many questions about his motives. He's already coming across as dependant, selfish and needy.
You can do better, hon! Keep him at arm's length!
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