A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:A guy i've never met added me on facebook about six months or so ago. For some reason i accepted him, we had no related friends or anything and his profile said he lived nowhere near me but i just left it and didn't say anything. I soon recieved texts from him asking about myself and just generally talking. i replied and we soon started talking fairly regularly over texts and msn etc. I didn't think anything of it and we often spoke using webcam and things so i know that he's not entirely lying about himself. recently he has started speaking more "fondly" towards me and recantly told me he "loved" me. I in no way intended to but i feel i may have slightly led him on to believe i may feel the same way as him without actually saying it. I feel incredibly guilty as i never intended anything as such too ever happen. And in no way did i purposefully give out the feeling that i might have feelings towards him.I don't want to hurt his feelings by entirely cutting off conection with him and ignoring him, but how do i let him know that i'm not intrested in that sort of way whatsoever. When we first started speaking i was single and admittedly innocently flirted a bit with him, but then i became involved with a guy i really liked and told him about it. he wasn't hurt by it as we were simply just being "playful". But i broke up with my boyfriend a few months ago and he soon began speaking to me again more and more frequently and it's now built up to him feeling like he has to tell me he loves me and i don;t know what to do.
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female
reader, QuirkLady  +, writes (31 October 2009):
 You've never met this guy and he's already saying he loves you? Whoa, definite alert there. You need to be honest and firm with him right now before things get any deeper. Let him know that while you think he's a great guy, you only want to be friends. If he doesn't get the hint, then you take further action. Don't be afraid of hurting someone's feelings if they don't respect what you're saying. Better to keep yourself safe than to be nice.
Good luck.
A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (31 October 2009):
 Just tell him upfront that he's not your type. Men can accept that. You can then flatter him a bit and even go as far to say you appreciate his friendship, but end by saying you aren't looking for any kind of romantic entanglement. Straight forward honesty is best way. It needn't be hurtful. Deception is hurtful.
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