A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:DearCupid,My wife and I have been going through some rough times for sometime now. There is no doubt about my love for her. Actually, sometimes I feel I fall in and out of love. Whenever I'm with her (she is going through difficult time because of death of her Dad), I just feel I want to take care of her and making future plans. I don't think is just feeling bad or pity. However, when I'm on my own and reflect, I seem to have doubts. I have a son from a previous marriage who is in another country. He is better off there. We moved due to the life changing event. I think I want to go back, not only because of my son but also for career. I think I want to move on, but I don't know how, she is lost and going through grieving. I can't leave her alone, I need to take care of her, but is it really right?Any suggestions are appreciated.Thanks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2009): When you married your wife, you took vows and they involoved loving her for the rest of your life and loking after her. She grieveing her dad right now, she needs you to be there. So why dont you stop being selfidh and look after her. Dont be like all men and think of yourself. This question made me very angry.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2009): hi i think its perfectly natural to keep falling in love again and again with your wife..it happens when you keep getting reminded of why you love her and that is true love.
I think you both seem to be grieving for different things, you're wife for her father and you for a change of life, career ect. The only way to decide which way forward for you is to talk to your wife and decide together about which way you should go with your plans, but as she is in a delicate state at the moment it would be insensitive to expect her to make a life changing decision right now.
At the moment all you can do is carry on as you are, support her in all ways you can and when the time and situation is right, gently broach the subject of your career and life change ideas. listen to her and decide together where your lives should go from here. But give her time to grieve and accept her father has gone and let her return to her usual self first.
Real deep love is hard to find, and marriage is all about sharing your life with someone, compromising and caring for each other. Major decisions should be a joint decision and whatever is decided or compromised on should be accepted, if its not what you want, accept it and remember that your love together really is unique and irreplaceable.
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