A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey, lately i have been feeling unloved by my boyfriend of 5 years, i know he loves me but sometimes im just not sure. and i have gotten laid off work so im home a lot i never feel like doing anything, its a huge chore to leave the house, i have friends but i dont have the energy to go visit even tho i drive passed her house almost every day. i cook my boyfriend his food (i love to cook) i have the energy to cook but not to clean, even to do dishes or wipe off the table and i feel so useless and he is working so i feel extreamly bad i dont do he things around the house i should be doing, in the passed 3 months i have gained 20 pounds!!! i dont eat junk, dont like pop or chips or bars, i watch what i eat but i always feel hungry. i just have no ambition to do anything i feel i have no life, i dont want to do anything ever, we go to the bar usually on the weekends wich is great i have such a good time.like right now i could/should be doin dishes but i dont want to i got no ambition and im very moody and the littlest things that the BF does that annoys me i fly off the handle he knows what makes me angry and still does it and i think thats a big part in the flipping part. any suggestions would be great. thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks so much everyone i really appreciate it. and yes my boyfriend does do some house work also that is why i also feel so useless he works and still has ambition to tidy up some of the house. but thanks all *Hugs & kisses*
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2009): You may be suffering from depression if this has been going on for weeks, and if so you can't really will yourself out of it. You have suffered a job loss and it is easy to get depressed over it, but one of the worst things to do is to do nothing.
The first course of treatment for this is to make an appointment with your doctor and tell them the symptoms of lethargy, mood swings, anger etc and be specific and about how long they have been going on. They may want to putyou on an antidepressant for awhile. Don't be afraid to take this medication because you will feel better, lighter, and have more energy to do the things you have been neglecting.
By not cleaning and doing the dishes you are just adding more stress to your life, clutter and disorganization is depressing, so fight the urge to clutter, ask your boyfriend for help keeping things in order, clearing the table. If you do the cooking, let him be responsible for the cleaning. It is ok that he is working and you aren't he can't use that as an excuse that you should be doing all of the housework. Tell him that looking for a job is a full time job or should be.
I don't know what they have in Canada, but some of the colleges here have resume writing classes, and we have State Career Offices that have seminars on job hunting and resources there. Sometimes it helps to be attending those kinds of things to keep you remembering that you have a lot to offer in the work world so that you can fight feeling depressed. If you have those kinds of classes, please take them, they will help you and keep you focused on getting a job.
It also helps to plan, if you have cut your income, then go through your bills and bare bone them, cut out things that are wants and not needs. You are going to need a reserve of cash so that you don't go through your savings. Get out some paper and do the math about what your expenses are and how much you need per month and then make a plan how you are going to get there. If you have credit cards, call your card company, tell them you have lost your job and need to look at lowering your payments, they will often lower interest rates which lower your payments so that you can actually make them...In other words get to work on your finances.
See you have a lot to do, so don't just lie there. Get up in the morning at the same time every day and get dressed and polished as if you had a job to go to and then go look for a job. Clean houses if you have too, start your own small business, get creative, get excited, this may be an opportunity rather than a set back...do you see where I am going with this? Start thinking instead of pushing your feelings down and soothing yourself with food, you are an emotional eater, I can tell. It is OK to get a little angry at your situation, anger is a good motivator, just don't take it out on your loved ones....acknowledge that you have been a bear to live with and tell them of your progress....
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady  +, writes (31 October 2009):
 It sounds like you are going through a little depression. It helps if you try to keep yourself busy even though you don't feel like it...try gardening, volunteering or maybe doing some crafts and selling them on the side. Reach out to your friends. Once you start the ball rolling things will get easier.
Good luck! *hug*
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