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age
26-29,
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writes: I like this guy in my class and we talk sometimes in class but I don't know how he feels about me (I'm 18 and he is 20). Usually when he leaves for his next class I say "goodbye (insert name here)" to show that I'm making the effort to say his name. Well on Tuesday I poked him on Facebook and he returned it a few times, then when I said goodbye today he hugged me. But it wasn't just me. He hugged me first then had this "oh crap" look on his face so he gave the other people around awkward hugs and handshakes to cover up his hug to me, I would assume. I've known him for about 2 or 3 months and I've never seen him hug anyone! Especially a girl! Do you think that was a hint that he likes me? I also catch him glancing at me in class sometimes. I don't really want to be the one to initiate a conversation on Facebook or flirt first because I just went through a really hard rejection and I'm scared of messing up again. No guy has ever liked me before so this is all knew to me :/ Also we have a mutual friend on Facebook and we were having a photo comment war on there for like 2 hours... I only continued because I wanted him to notice me to be completely honest...Please help!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI didn't say that I was the only person in the world that this has happened to. I also didn't complain about having a boyfriend. I'm totally okay with being alone. I know that in young and have time. I literally only wanted to know if the way he acted meant anything.
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female
reader, celtic_tiger  +, writes (1 December 2014):
 OP, what you forget is that you are not the first person to go through this, and will not be the last. Most of us have been in your shoes.
I was 21 before I had a boyfriend, someone who was "interested" in me. I was 28 before I had a serious relationship. I know more than you realise about men not being interested.
I know how horrible it feels that men don't pay any attention. I know how it makes you feel ugly, unloved. I know how it feels when guys you like completely ignore you, just want to be friends, or overlook you in favour of your best friend. I know how it makes you depressed when it feels like everyone around you is loved up, and you are looking into a world you are not part of.
You are ONLY 18 years old. You have sooooo many years ahead of you, but right now you cannot see it. And there will be boys and men who come along who ARE interested, who do want to get to know you, and like you for who you are.
But, now at the grand old age of 31, I have realised that you cannot force the issue. I have learnt to relax and not put all my eggs into one basket. The more you push, the less likely it will happen.
It is very easy to go over the top when a guy shows a flicker of interest, especially if you are not used to it. We (me included) can turn a simple act into a declaration of intent, when really, there was nothing there. It's just that we want it so badly, that we only see what we want to see. It happened to me in the summer, and I ended up looking like an idiot.
I'm sorry you felt I was scolding you - but I know how easy it is to wind yourself up into a state over this kind of situation. Been there, done it, made myself very depressed by it. You need to step back, look at the bigger picture and realise it is not the end of the world and you have so much time in the future for boys.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionPlease stop talking down to me. Im not forcing it. As I have mentioned before I only asked because I don't know what it's like to have a guy like me so I was confused. I'd rather have one date with someone than nothing at all. Im sorry if it seems like I'm trying to force it but in the 18 years I've been alive this is the first time that anyone has been remotely interested, and by asking this I was trying to be cautious not get scolded by someone I don't know. I haven't used this site in years and now I remember why, everyone is always so rude. No one understands that there is more than one way to say something and everyone on here uses the wrong way.
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female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (1 December 2014):
Sometimes you can't force relationships to happen. You have to let things evolve naturally at their own pace, even if you wish they would move faster.
Relationships are not like in the movies, where two people meet and instantly they are an item. Boyfriends do not appear at a click of your fingers and like you just because you want them to.
This year I have been out on dates with a couple of nice guys. Neither went beyond one date. Each and every one of them rejected me for one reason or another - it happens and it is normal. In your romantic life you will probably face more rejection than you will success. If we didn't we would all still be with our first boyfriends!
You have given this boy your number, now is the time to be patient. The ball is totally in his court. He may be shy. So, carry on being you, go out with your friends. Live your life. If he calls, that's great, if he doesn't then you have not lost anything.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI only mentioned the Facebook stuff because I felt like it was necessary. I only see him for about two hours, three days a week, so yes obviously it's easier to socialize through Facebook. I do try to talk to him. It doesn't even matter anymore because I tried to talk to him this weekend and he completely ignored me...and I gave him my number. We have tons in common. I'm trying to get to know him. Oh well I'm used to this. I shouldn't have even asked for advice.
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female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (29 November 2014):
Thanks for the update OP, but with respect, you do mention Facebook an awful lot in your post. It does seem that the majority of interaction with this man happens in or around facebook.
The thing about growing up, and about forming relationships is that you put yourself at risk of rejection. It is just one of those things. You are still very young, and inexperienced in relationships, but no matter how old you get, rejection still happens, and it still hurts. You just have to pick yourself up, and move on. Why would you want to be with someone who didn't like you back? Surely you are better off with someone who does care.
Teenage relationships can be very fickle, based often on very shallow emotions rather than actually liking and wanting to be with someone. Many young men are just looking for a quick fix, rather than long term relationships with emotional connections.
You said:
"Every guy o have ever liked has rejected me so yes I'm terrified of it happening again"
"I don't really want to be the one to initiate a conversation on Facebook or flirt first because I just went through a really hard rejection and I'm scared of messing up again"
"I just want to know if maybe the hug meant anything, that's all"
Bottom line - we cannot tell you if he "likes you" in a romantic way. He may just like you as a nice person, or as a friend. He may be inexperienced, shy or uncomfortable around girls. Boys fear rejection just as much as girls do! Sometimes it is easy to read things into behaviour when we like someone.
You were rejected in the past - this is nothing to do with you having "messed up" or having done something wrong. It just means that those boys were not the right ones for you. When the right one comes along, he will WANT to talk to you and spend time with you. Never sell yourself short just to get the attention of a man. It is their loss in the end - not yours.
Why don't you want to be the one who initiates communication? If you like him. Talk to him. Be brave. It sounds like he is shy, and possibly is also insecure. Sometimes boys can be dense. If you poke him on FB, but don't talk to him, he might think you are not that interested. What signals are you putting out, could he be misreading your lack of communication as lack of interest?
Sometimes it is good to look at your own actions.
Do you share any interests with this boy? Hobbies? Music tastes? Smile at him, ask him his opinion about something. Get to know him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe are friends on Facebook and I did message him on there. The whole idea of this question is not about Facebook and it bothers me that the website worded it that way because no one will help me. I talk to him all the time at school. Yes I was rejected a few months ago and it hurt then, but I'm okay now. I've never had a boyfriend so I don't find one essential to being happy, I actually like this guy. Every guy o have ever liked has rejected me so yes I'm terrified of it happening again. I just want to know if maybe the hug meant anything, that's all. @celtic_tiger{Moderator note: title since changed to remove reference to FB}
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female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (28 November 2014):
Hi OP
I think, and please don't take this the wrong way, but you need some time out from boys. It is not essential to have a BF all the time.
You said " I just went through a really hard rejection and I'm scared of messing up again"
This suggests that you have been hurt, and are potentially on the rebound. You want someone to mend you, give your ego a boost and make you feel better. But you can only do that by yourself. Take some time for you, heal inside, go out with your friends, laugh, enjoy just being you.
You are 18 now, and an adult. He is 20 - not a teenage boy.
All these "games" you seem to be playing are not going to do you any favours.
You do know him, so add him on facebook. TALK to him. Get to know him. He will notice you more if you actually strike up a conversation than just randomly poking him on FB.
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