A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My Husband and I have been married for 12 years. 4 years ago he had an affair. we stayed together and got past that. He for some reason has continued to lie to me about where he goes, he gets angry when i confront him and turns in on me. This has been going on for a few years. This past year I found out he was talking to and stopping by to see a women he used to work with. He told me nothing happend they were just friends. I caught him in another lie, the other day, these are not little lies, big lies like where he has been and who he was with. I am so sick of the lies, I am misrable.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2007): honey leave him... once a lier always a lier, once a cheater always a cheater.
A
male
reader, Wild Thaing  +, writes (18 June 2007):
 If he is unwilling to stop the lying, then you need to justify (to yourself) the rationale for sticking with this marriage. By the way do you have children?
If your side of the story is correct then your husband is using you as a security blanket. Worse yet, he's treating you like a doormat. Both analogies are unflattering for you and must have a devastating effect on your self-esteem.
Unless you have children, it's long past time for you to take a break from this marriage so that you can heal. Good luck and take care.
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A
female
reader, sexseahot +, writes (18 June 2007):
 If you are miserable, then you should just leave him. You are better off without this liar in your life. He don't deserve you if this is how he wants to treat you. You could always find someone better that will treat you better and stay faithful throughout the WHOLE relationship. There ARE actual people like that out there.
If he continues to lie to you over and over again, ESPECIALLY about going to see a woman he used to work with, then he obviously doesn't value your marriage or really cares about what happens between the two of you. Do what you think is best for yourself. Don't stay in this marriage if he will not change for you. It's not worth the pain.
Good Luck!!!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (18 June 2007):
 Sounds like he is still cheating. A husband who refuses to tell his wife where he's been or where he is going is hiding something, especially if he turns on you when you ask. I'd tell him to leave.
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A
female
reader, weebee  +, writes (18 June 2007):
Did you ever hear the sayin if they do it once they will do it again....
i wont say that goes for everyone, sometimes people learn by there mistakes. Others however keep repeating them because they get away with them.
The next time you know where hes been and he tells you something different then you confront him and tell him exactly what you know and if he still continues with the lie then tell him to leave until hes able to tell you the truth. Do not under any circumstances let him turn it round on you. Always remember you have done nothing wrong and dont back down but if this doesnt work and he still continues to tell you lies then you need to end this marriage. Remember you can only give people so many chances. I think you have gave him enough.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2007): First congratualtions on getting past your husband's affair and staying together for 4 years, that is quite an accomplishment. There is not a lot of information here about your relationship with each other except that you say he is lying to you.
I think the first thing of order would be to go see a therapist or counselor together to see if you can't get to the bottom of this.
If the therapist thinks your husband is a classic liar, then you may have to decide to dissolve your marriage, as it is not healthy to be in a relationship where there is not mutual respect and trust....especially if you have children at home, all this fighting is detrimental to your kids, you and they deserve better....so I hope you will seek some professional help and go from there with your decision.
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A
female
reader, mum2be +, writes (18 June 2007):
i am sorry... but i think you should leave him... let him know how upset you are. all the best
xxx
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