A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi,My bf and I met on a dating site. He came on very strong I kind of felt something was just not right with him. As our relationship continued I realized he's a compulsive liar, and addicted to gambling. We've been together 3 years, and a very turbulent 3 years. I catch him in the silliest lies, he has a bad temper and moreso when he's run out of money to gamble. I held on because I had very strong feelings for him because he also has a very nice side. However now I feel like my feelings are changing because all his promises are broken and he doesn't seem as though he will change. He thinks of me last. In three years I've gotten a pair of earrings and a watch maybe a couple of dinners. Not that it matters but he spends at least 3 thousand a month on his gambling which hurts and I used to pay all his bills which was so unfair to me. He's controlling and very untrusting I believe its because he doesn't trust himself. He's called me another womens name and he has no sisters, or co workers by that name makes me wonder if he's on a dating site meeting women.I asked him outright are your cheating on me? He said "no" which based on his history of lies makes me think he probably has. He's had at least 8 fake facebook accounts under different males names and even females names, Seems very abnormal. His excuse he was monitoring me makes no sense as he has my password to my facebook account which I've decided to change its none of his business what my gf's and I discuss. He gets mad quickly swears at me, pins me down, and has bit me because I talked back to him. I'm in college, and I work. I'm an honour student and he throws that into my face saying "I think I'm better than him" meanwhile I don't even say anything other than I'm proud of myself. I tell him his insecurites are getting tiring and he needs to change fast, but 3 years and the same vicious circle. Now my birthday is coming up and I can predict this year I will get nothing again. He has made a promise to take me out for supper but I know when he gets paid he will hit the casino then pretend to be remorseful afterwards, and try and get my money to pay for his bills. Does anyone think there's light at the end of the tunnel or is it time to face reality and move on?
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co-worker, facebook, gambling, his ex, liar, money, move on, violent Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2011): In reference to the last persons advice of course she doesn't have self esteem she's being abused they wear u down and make u feel your just not good enough also getting out of an abusuve relationship isn't as easy as u think either.
My dear find the strength to leave call friends and family. You deserve so much better.
The whole point of this column is to try and help.
Take care
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2011): Honestly sweetheart, get rid of him. I know you say he has a nice side but judging by the other info you provided, he's not worth what he puts you through.
He's obviously abusive and although right now he's pinned you down and bit you, it's only a matter of time until it's a kick to the stomach or a punch in the face. Nobody deserves to be treated like that.
Whether or not you "talked back to him", physical abuse is never okay.
You WILL find someone who will treat you with all the love, respect and dignity that you deserve but it's clear that that's not him.
Best of luck.
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