A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi i've been with my boyfriend 7 months. I've always had a problem with this girl, who's legally his auntie, but from his step-dads family. She's only 13/14 ish and my first impression of her was not good. She just sat looking at my boyfriend the whole time I was there. I was uncomfortable about it and then this constant texting piped up. So, I went on facebook last night and saw she had a status saying. "Boyfriend's name, had a good day today. You're a big meanie :(" He lied to me all day, saying he was at his mums house and how he missed me, and when he came to my house after he was all over me like he was guilty? I thought nothing of it though until I saw that on facebook.I was currently on xbox live playing and talking to him and his two best friends. I asked him could I phone him quickly and he unplugged his microphone. I asked him why he had lied to me. He said because he knew I would get angry and if he had told me he was meeting up with her I would have kicked off about it.He said they had planned to meet up the day before, and that it was to talk about her ex who is making her life a misery. They had spoken about it with the texting beforehand so I didn't see the need of it. I suspected another lie. Anyway he said he was there for 2 hours. She was doing things like throwing twigs and grass at him and they had a little fight thing. I got annoyed because maybe it's just me but I used to do that with him before we started dating to get his attention. He got more and more mad at me and turned his xbox microphone back on. He started shouting at me and you could hear it in the xbox party chat. I asked him to turn it off because it's between us two and he refused saying he would only tell them anyway. I felt so embarrassed! We argued for about half an hour, well more like he shouted at me for about half an hour. I was in tears and we went off the phone and continued to play with his friends on xbox. I was just too embarrassed and ashamed to even plug my microphone back in so I remained silent for the rest of the night. I plugged my microphone in and muted his two friends so they couldn't hear me talk. I started talking to him and he was... civil. The only thing is whenever I said I love you, he said it like he didn't mean it and like he was tired of it. I don't know what to do. We're supposed to be going to the cinema today. I'm just so hurt and now too embarrassed to speak to his friends who sat there listening to it all. I'm a very insecure person, but I love my boyfriend a lot and I don't want to break-up with him.Thank you to anyone who read this and answered, I really need your help!
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (26 April 2011):
 well he is in the wrong for lying to you. It was the wrong thing to do. However he is free to meet up with whoever he likes and you cant tell him not to meet up with her or be angry at him if he tells you he is meeting up with her, because you will just drive him away. You need to remember that just because you are in a relationship with him doesnt mean that he doesnt have a life outside of the relationship either.
I think the best thing that you can do here is to meet up with him and talk. Tell him that if he lies to you again it will be over as you are not going to be able to trust him. Tell him he needs to be honest if this relationship is going to work.
If am honest with you what he done was very childish and he tried to embarress you so that he could look big in front of his friends. He shouldnt have put you in this position. To me that shows that he is just not mature enough to be in a proper relationship. However this is your choice. Goodluck.
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