A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for seven years. I was a virgin when i first met him and he told me that he was too.But just this past weekend he admitted to me that he had lied to me and that he had actually slep with three other girls before me.And i thought that was something special between the two of us. And we were suppose to get married in two months. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2007): well, if he's lied to you about it for seven years and then he comes clean about it. What else has he lied to you about? thats pretty bad that he could hide that for so long without telling you. what else is he hiding?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2007): Thank all of yous that had takein your time to help me with my problem. Your answers really did help, alot! Thank you!
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A
female
reader, Sbrwneyes +, writes (27 June 2007):
 Guys are really big about their egos. He was probably just scared to tell you because he didn't want to scare you away. Of course, it was really messed up about him to lie to you. My boyfriend did the opposite. He told me he slept with three girls just because he was afraid he would seem "un-experienced". Some guys are just like that. He probably did it so you wouldn't feel so unexperienced next to him.
Mail me if you want to talk.
=)
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A
female
reader, tasha556  +, writes (27 June 2007):
 he may of lied to you beacuse he wanted your first time to be special and he might of thought if he said he wasn't a virgin then it wouldn't of been that special for you. if you are really bothered by it ask him why he lied and sort the problem out. best of luck x
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (27 June 2007):
 He may of lied because he was scared that his experience would scare you away.... It could be any number of reasons.
Ask him why he lied. Does it really matter now the truth is out? He's been honest before you get married, maybe wanting to start married life with no lies.
xxxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, love-him +, writes (27 June 2007):
 Hia babii, ask him why he didnt tell you.. but it is completely up to you.. is this the only lie, can you trust him, do you love him enough to stay with him? up to you babii, mail me if u wanna talk x x x x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2007): Have you asked him why he didn't say it from the beginning? Is this is the only inconvenient? Whether he is more experienced or not should not really influence the trajectory of the relationship. Has he mentioned about his exes? Sometimes we choose not to speak about our past so as to forget what didn't work out well. The problem of virginity is irrelevant, you don't judge a person after that. The fact he lied though, can be due to wanting to give you the impression you will learn everything together, which thought you seem to fancy...
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2007): Hi there,
You have an awful lot of history together, it is natural that you feel that something has been damaged in your relationship. Whilst I am not excusing his lies, take a step back from the situation and ask yourself why he lied. Do you think it was because he wanted to deceive you, and show you that there wasn't a special bond between you? Or do you think it was because he was scared that if you knew he had been with other people that the relationship wouldn't have been as special for you?
He made a big mistake deceiving you, but I imagine he did it because he was ashamed and regretful of his past and didn't feel secure enough to be truthful. Perhaps he should have been honest and open to you, but maybe a clean sexual past was a big thing for you that he felt he had to live up to your expectation?
The other thing with lies is that the longer you keep one up, the harder it is to come clean. What was probably one regretful sentence quickly became a fundamental issue that would cause the relationship to end.
I think you should try and give it a little bit of time to come to terms with what has happened. You are bound to feel betrayed right now, but those feelings will settle and then you will be more clear about your feelings towards him. You may find that you still love him and want to be with him, or you may find that his lie has damaged something that won't return. Give it time, things will become clearer, I'm sure.
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